Who Made Me A Villainess

I

"What would it take for you to love me?"

My scream-like cry echoed throughout the hallway.

I realized I should not have begged for love.

I realized I should not have worked so hard for love.

"Shall I become like Jennette?"

I should not have given up everything I had for your love.

I know I am someone you could throw away at any time.

Yet.

Yet...

Kneeling, crying, and holding onto your pants.

I have done everything I can, and dignity no longer matters to me.

And yet...

"If I do, will you call my name as dearly as you do hers, and watch me with warm eyes?"

I continued to beg and beg.

Even when his eyes were devoid of all affection for me.

"Will you hold me in your arms without pushing me away?"

Still hoping for that glimmer of hope that someday my existence will be validated.

I am hoping, begging, and wishing that you will accept my lost affection.

I am your child.

I am still your child.

But why?

Just why?

"Such a thing won't happen until the day I die."

Why can not you show me even a speck of your affection?

Even though I knew of your hatred for me.

Even though I knew your coldness towards me.

"Why? I'm your daughter too, father."

Just once...

I'm just wishing that for at least one time.

"I was by your side much longer than Jennette!"

I hoped you would look at me with love in your eyes.

Just once.

I wanted you to love me, whether it was for an hour or one minute.

No... a second would suffice.

At least once.

"You fool."

That piercing contempt.

His voice digging into my ears was crueler than ever.

I don't want to hear it. I don't want to—

"There was never a day I considered you my daughter."

—know what your truly felt about me.

My heart stilled. My mind went blank.

My gaze slowly went on the ground, with tears streaming down my face.

The coldness of his voice and the indifference of his gaze.

You were still heartless until the very end.

"Haha."

I couldn't help but laugh my heart out. This maddening and sickening feeling made me crazy.

I know I should not have done this at all.

I knew I should not have clung on to you.

But... I am girl too.

Who thirsts for your love and your attention.

The things you couldn't give me—you gave it all to that child.

You know, father, what your mistake is?

"Haha! Haha! Hahaha!"

You looked at me as if I were insane

Yes, I am. You made me like this.

"Haha. You know, Your Majesty..."

I stood up, disdainfully staring at the man who made me miserable.

In my next life, I swear that I will never beg for your love.

In that life, I will never ask for a piece of your heart, no matter how small it is.

"Evil queens are princesses that no prince dared to save."

Laughing and laughing.

I'm so sick of this now.

In that life... I will make sure...

*thwack!*

Feeling the cold and painful attack on my chest, I looked at the man who pierced my heart with his very hand.

"I will make you suffer the same despair I suffered."

I will never, ever—

The deepest of despair like never food before my eyes.

—forgive you.

TBC