The boy I used to love

Chapter I: where it begins

Sometimes people teach you how you want to be loved, but other times, some people teach you how you don't want to be loved.
In my perspective,  he was somebody confused, he didn't know what he wanted, and when he had it, he lost it, and when he knew what he had lost, he did everything he could to make it happen again, but what he didn't know, was the fact that i flighted as long as I could for him and for what we had, but it didn't worked, and when I left, I left for good, no come backs, no more chances, I was done, i went through my five stages of grief, and once im healed, i moved on with my life.
But if you want to know the whole story, you'll have to keep on reading.

Everything started on December of 2019, it was a cold winter, and I use to go to this coffee place to write, it was a warm, beautiful and somehow quiet, with really good coffee, it was a perfect place for a writer, I used to go three or four times a week, a was a regular client, I always ordered the same thing, a black large coffee, no milk, no sugar and tiramisu, I was there at the same time, and I used to sit at the same table, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, but this it wasn't gonna be possible, because there was somebody else sitting in that table.

THURSDAY:
It was a guy, he was reading a book, a book that I personally love, "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee, it's a really good book, but it was the first time that I ever saw him in this place, either way, sit in the table next to him, I had a really good idea for the book and I didn't want to loose it, for me it happens really often that right when I have an idea and I don't write it down quickly, I forget about it, and that honestly makes me angry.

I took my laptop out of my backpack and I got ready to start writing and for some reason I felt the need to see the guy who was sitting on my place of usual, turns out he was watching me, I don't know why, he was looking at me pretty often, but he never approached me, maybe he was shy, I don't know.

While the hours were spent, i couldn't stop writing, I had one idea after another and one look after the other, it was 10:30 and the coffee place was closing so I had to leave, I start packing my things when I saw a the guy leating, I wanted to ask him why was he looking at me or at least, his name or something, but he left before I could.

In the following days I didn't saw him once, I went Friday and nothing, Saturday and nothing, Sunday and again, nothing, until next Thursday, he wasn't there at first, so I sit at the same table of usual,  but almost right after I sit down he came in, and I told myself that the next time I saw him, I was gonna ask him why hee never came to me, after all he was looking at me the entire time that I stayed here, so before I took my stuff out, I pulled back the chair infront of him and I sit.

I remember him looking at me, like if I was a freak, which I am, but he didn't know that,  at least not yet, but still, I said hi and he said hi, and that's when I asked him "why you never came to me last Thursday?, you were looking at me all day and you cant deny it", and his answer was that i looked to concentrated and that he didnt want to interrupt me, i thought that was really considered from him and we start talking till 10:30, turns out he was really extrovert, maybe ever more than me, and i was really extrovert, and what I didn't now, was that, that specific moment, would be the start of the end for him and I.

We kept seen each other almost everyday, start doing to restaurants together, breakfast, lunch, dinner and drinks sometimes, and two weeks after we met, we start dating, and everything was going amazing, he was really romantic and I wasn't but he made me a little bit romantic, he was making me a different person, that I didn't disliked, it was different, new, but I felt good about it.

We were free to be ourselves all thetime, cause we always maked sure to be honest of who we were all the time.

It was never boring, we always had things to do or to say, it used to be crazy how in love we were, cuddles, kissis, and then finally the day came, he was my first time, and he made it so special, he made me feel, cofortable, secure, pretty and loved, it was truly, madly and deeply, beautiful, and i felt more in love with him, than what i was before, sadly, he knew i was in his hands, fully, but what i didnt knew at first, was that he would take advantage of that situation like no one else ever did, at least with me.

At first, everthing was love, rainbows and butterflies, just like people say, love was in the air, we made so many plans, we were going to leave somewhere near the beach, we were both going to run a coffee place, we both always want it to have a place like that, and we wanted it more after how we met, everything was so good,so perfect, we wanted two kids, a boy and a girl, a dog and a cat, a big house with pool, we had a whole life planed, imagining the thought of that life was beautiful, we could've had a beautiful life, we worked for a while, to make that plan a reality, we worked so hard but like i didn't knew that life could change so drastically in a blink of an eye, in no time it was plot twist, I never knew, that would vanish from me.

Eventually, everything start going down hill, he start being jelous of every guy i knew or talk to, even though he knew they were my friends, but i knew that i would never stop seeing my friends, no matter if they were women or men, and thats when we start fighting, and it was practically every damn day, it was a nonstop things, then he start cheating, and his excuse was that , i was probably doing the same way, i dont know why i stayed after that, i was unhappy and he was poobably too, but i didnt want to be alone and neither did he, i didnt want to go and he didnt want to let me go, no matter  if he was cheating and that kept going for a while.

We were that kind of couple where he cheats but we're still that happy relationship infront of evrybody else, even with my parents, i never told them  everything that was happening with us, i kept everything in silence because i was embarrassed of the situacion, i had everything i wanted before him, i had princesstreatment 24/7, from my uncles, my grandpa's, and obviously from my dad, it's already embarrassing enough letting him treat me like that, imagine if they knew, the felling would be way worse, so i didnt say a thing, for everyone's eyes we were the perfect couple, we made sure nobody knew.