Beauty and the Beast

03 - Bleed Out

CELINA'S POV

1,175 Words

I've never been a fan of large crowds. I've never been a fan of attention. It made me feel icky, like I needed to be perfect when people were scrutinizing me with their gazes, but I didn't know how to be. In moments like that, my mind completely blanked, and I didn't know how to act. I didn't know whether to smile or frown, to walk away or stand there. Why were they staring? Was it because of my clothes? My face? My hair? Did I look weird? No, of course not. It had to be something else. Deep down, I knew what it was, but I hated admitting it out loud.

My mother always dripped envy when I was around her. She hated me for being pretty, simple as that. She was always pushing me beyond my limits, without a care in the world as to how it would affect me. She always despised the attention I drew towards myself, almost as much as I hated it myself. She saw me as the person she would not and could not ever become. But as a mother, her duty was to take care of me. It was her job to guide me in the right direction, her job to nurture me and keep me safe until I was ready to fly the coop. Apparently, she hadn't gotten that memo. She was a bitter woman, and I had no idea why. My father wasn't that way, nor were my grandparents. It was always her making me miserable. It was her around every corner, behind me, pushing me around, trying to perfect me. 'Love' was not in her vocabulary, and I hated her for it. I hated the way she treated me, and how I let it affect me so much. But how could I not? How could I possibly, after being surrounded by nothing but hateful words, brush it off?

'Pretty privilege' was the phrase for me. I knew I had it, and I didn't like it one bit. I was always told, "You should be grateful you're so pretty. You get things other don't. You have pretty privilege." But they didn't know how it was. Pretty was all people saw in me. It wasn't that I was smart, or funny, or kind or caring. It was that I was beautiful. That's the only reason I attracted so much attention. I wanted to be treated like everyone else. I wanted life to be fair, but it wasn't. It wasn't fair and it would never be fair and that killed me. The concept that I'd always be 'above' others filled me with a sorrow so deep it created a chasm in my chest, one that could never be fixed. I had a gaping wound in my heart and it bled out more and more everyday, and one day it would kill me. I just knew it. One day I'd bleed out too much and bam, I'm gone. What scared me the most was that the thought of that didn't scare me. Death didn't seem too bad, and that was my biggest issue.

🦢🦢🦢

Classes were absolutely draining, and for once, I decided it was time to treat myself. I was gonna go out with my friends, and I was gonna have fun. Simple. So I called them up, asked them to join me in grabbing some food and a few drinks, and got ready for my big outing.

The decision as to where we were going to go was easy. I'd been to this pub a million times, and every time, it never ceased to amaze me. The food was out of this world. Every person in town knew it. Every tourist that came around had to eat here. It was a once in a life time experience, so naturally, that was what we picked.

I had only seen the big boss man a few times. Usually, I didn't think he was even in the building, or he was and I just didn't see him. Either way, he was a gloomy and cruel guy, and rumor had it that he was involved in some bad stuff, so I was almost grateful that he wasn't around when I went.

But of course, this time had to be different. As soon as I stepped foot through the door, I saw him. He was a tall, muscular, handsome man, and everybody could see it. I'm sure he had pretty privilege, too, but he sure didn't act like it.

Realizing that no one was gonna get us a table, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I was a little but scared, but he was just a guy, right? Nothing to worry about. He was your average, everyday guy who would not harm me in the slightest.

As I slowly but surely walked up to him, I started getting less and less confident. What the fuck was I thinking? I mean seriously, this was an extremely terrible idea.

"Um, hello?" I said in an almost whisper. He slowly turned around and looked above me, not expecting me to be as short as I was. Or maybe he was just really tall...

"Hi, yes, my friends and I need some menus and a table," I said, a little more confident this time. But I didn't get a response. The first time it didn't really occur to me because I didn't say it very loud, but now he was just blatantly ignoring me. He stared down at me, into me, with wide, beautiful green eyes. I had never seen him so up close before. He was... prettier than I had expected him to be. He didn't seem dangerous at all. He seemed enthralled, which wasn't really a surprise.

"Hello??? Anyone there?" Seeming to snap out of his little trance, he quickly grabbed a couple menus and shoved them into my chest. He turned back around and got back to whatever it was he was working on. Kinda rude, but I survived.

I walked back over to where my friends were waiting and told them we could just sit anywhere, since this dude with a staring problem hadn't given me what I had asked for.

We found a small table somewhere in the corner of the pub and started looking at the menus, deciding what to eat. I knew what I was gonna get, because it was my go-to for everywhere, but I liked to study the menus anyway, incase something were to happen and I could have my favorite food anymore.

A nice looking server came over to us and asked what we would like to drink, which for me was sweet tea, another go-to of mine.

We got our drinks and sat and chatted for awhile, waiting for the waiter to come back and let us order, and finally, someone did, but it wasn't who I had expected it to be.

It was him.

🦢🦢🦢

Author's Note: I wasn't gonna write this at all but here we are, so yw🫶