Beg for my love

1: My Solitude of Torture

  Mention of: Sister Complex

                        .♤♠︎♤.

All my life I have been subjugated to the idea that I was perfect. It was engraved into my mind that I could never do anything wrong and that even if I did, I should never admit it because admitting it means admitting to having a flaw, and nobody likes a person with flaw.

So, from the early age of two I was raised to be the perfect daughter amongst my perfect parents an older brother. 

We were the perfect little family in a perfect house in a perfect town or at least that's what's the worlds thinks because when it comes to my fucked-up family, nothing is perfect.

My father was a lawyer or in other terms a con artist and liar. My brother was no different either, if I was being completely honest, I'd say he was worst. My mother was the only good thing in my life, but that bitch turned out to value a dick more than her own daughter.

So, on the day they died it was one of the worst day and best days of my life. Paradoxical I know, but it was true. I was saddened by my mother's death, but I was also happy that I got rid one less monster in my life.

For the first time in years, I had felt like the invisible chains that hung around my arms and neck had been broken.

The forced smile and the act of always being the perfect child; they were all gone now.

I felt free for the first time in my life. Like I could accomplish anything. Unfortunately, my chains crept their way back around my neck when my brother and his wife took me in. 

My moment of freedom was taken away just as fast as it came, and I was yet again subjugated to being perfect. And so, my perfect little world began to build itself back up, only this time it wasn't filled with joy or happiness, but fucking torment and madness. My solitude of torture.

"Josie." My teachers voice rang in my ears. I dropped my pen, my eyes trailing up to meet his emerald ones. "Yes Mr. Blackwood." I say with a small smile as I get up to greet him. He clears his throat before he starts to speak.

"This is Nickalus Halstead; He is the transfer student that I was telling you about. I would appreciate it if you would show him around." He says and I look towards the person he was talking about.

My eyes move to the person beside him to meet a pair of indifferent hazel eyes. His hair was dark and messy. His arms adored with many tattoos and scars. A perfect definition of what my brother told me to stay away from.

Oh, this will be fun.

"I'm Josephine, but most people just call me josie, it's nice to meet you." I say the words leaving my mouth slow and calm as I extend my hand towards him.

He looks at it, a wave of disgust rushing over his face. My eyes narrow at his action and my smile disappears. I am about to extract my hand when he finally decides to take it.

His grip was firm as he shook my hand with haste before releasing it and putting his hand into his pocket. "Well, I'll leave you to it then." Mr. Blackwood says clearing his throat. I nod at him a fake smile plastered onto my face as I waited for him to leave.

I watched as he walked out of the classroom closing the door behind him which finally allowed my fake smile to fade into a frown. "Do you have a problem with me Mr. Halstead?" I asked the person looking down on me as If I was a pest.

He doesn't answer and I roll my eyes as I start to pack up my things. I finished packing and stood up walking to the door, stopping as I hold the doorknob. "A piece of advice Mr. Halstead, drop that 'fuck off' attitude you have going on; it won't get you anywhere in this fucked up town."

I wait for a second to see if he was going to say anything and when he doesn't, I feel the urge to turn around and when I do I see I was talking to myself. Ignoring his disappearance, I left the room and headed to my class just before the bell rings.

I had English first period, so I went towards the lecher hall and as I did, I feigned ignorance to the person watching me threw the walls. I enter the classroom making my way towards the second to last row sitting in the middle.

More people fill the room along with my two best friends Cicilia and Avery. They take their seats on either side of me taking out their textbooks. "Did you see the new guy?" Avey asks and I ignore her setting up my recording device.

"So, you do know him. spill everything." Cicilia says pulling her chair closer, and I just sigh as I lay my head on my desk. "Oh. My. God." She says her hand squeezing my shoulder. "If this is a dream, I never want to wake up."

I look up towards the person she was talking about, and our eyes met for a brief moment before my head dropped back down uninterested in the matter. "Wake me when something actually interesting happens." I say getting comfortable as my eyelids shut down.

"Oh my God he's coming over here." I hear Cicilia say as she sakes my shoulder. I look up at her annoyed before my eyes move to the person walking towards us or rather towards the empty row across from us.

"You can't sit there! that's my seat; I have a phobia of people, so I need to sit in an entire row by myself" Cicilia suddenly says. She doesn't. She packs up her things and moves to the middle of the row beside us spreading her hands as far as they reached across the chairs.

"You can have my seat!" She says or rather yells referring to the now empty seat to my left. I lift my head resting it on my hand as I look him up and down with a soft yet deadly stare, waiting to see what he will do.

He looks at me as if he was going to say something but instead, he turns and walks to the row below us taking a seat in the second chair of that row and just as he doses our new English teacher enters the room. "Good morning, everyone." Mr. Bradly says setting down his belonging on his desk.

"Good morning Mr. Bradly." The other children say excluding me as I am not having or had a very good morning. "Um is there a Miss Ellis in this class the principle would like to speak with you." He says and my blood runs cold, the entire class going silent knowing what was going to happening but I'm not feeling up to any murder today, so I just smile at him softly.

"It's Josphine or josie just Josephine or josie." I say all eyes on me. Some disappointed that I wasn't going to do anything and other terrified at what I must be thinking. When my parents died, my brother adopted me, and my last name was changed from Vale to Ellis.

Me and brother do not have a normal brother sister relationship because the kind of love my brother has for me is not one a good brother should have. He's addicted to me or even worst obsessed.

Our parents knew about this too, but they didn't bat an eye because even they knew how much of a psychopath, a monster they were raising. The fact is I want nothing to do with my brother or my family so when anyone mentions his or their name much less call me by his last name, I get angry, and I am not pretty when am angry.

The reason we had to get a new English teacher was because I killed the last one. He made me angry, and I killed him. I lost control. That is what my brother makes me tell everyone but in truth I smiled as I watched the life force drain from his body, and I would do it again because I am just as sick and twisted as my brother; or better yet I am worst.

                           .♤♠︎♤.

Welcome to my Solitude of Torture.