TO ALL THE BOYS I'VE LOVED BEFORE AU

CHAPTER 6 - THE END

Text
"Look, I feel like- for me to really move on I need to talk to you about it. Like, really talk to you about it." You were sitting on Miguel's bed, his mom and yaya were out, and, after everything that had happened in the past few days, you just felt like you needed to distance yourself from all the drama so you could actually be at peace.

"Everyone else, well, we weren't really close. It was all... in my head I guess. But you, you're my best friend. I know you. Like really know you. But I guess I didn't realize how I really felt about you until you were dating Sam. And then I didn't know what to do. You were the first person I've even really been in love with. You're not the first letter, not the first crush, but I'd never been in love with anyone before you."

"Okay."

"But over time, that feeling went away, and I just really, really missed my best friend. And I still love you. Just... not like that anymore."

"Why didn't you just tell me that? I- I feel like I would understand."

"I know! But well I didn't know I'd moved on until... Eli."

"Right. Eli."

"He was real, in a different way. And I'm sorry I kept it from you."

"It's fine. I know."

"Did you... stop loving Sam? After you broke up?"

"No. I mean, not at first. But you get used to it. You're not heartless for getting over your feelings, you know?" He paused. "Do you feel the same about Hawk?"

"I know you don't think we're a good fit."

"Well I like how stood up for you today."

"When he beat someone up?"

"Well he's a little violent, but he did get his point across. I've been in a few fights. But I know he'd never hurt you."

You just nodded.

"Look, you miss him. Why don't you just tell him?"

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Well he's still hung up on Moon, so I know it won't work. So if it didn't happen then I didn't get my heart broken. But if I say that it did happen, and he still doesn't want me..."

"It sounds like you'll get your heart broken no matter what. Y/N, you need to tell people how you feel when you feel it. You can't just sit in your room writing love letters you're never gonna send. I mean, Hawk wouldn't even be in your life if they hadn't gotten out."

"I know, you have a point. But I'm just tired of writing love letters. Would be nice to be the one receiving them for once."

"Can I see your phone?"

"What?"

"Gimme your phone, please."

You were confused, but did as he asked, unlocking it before handing it to him. He seemed to open someone's text messages.

"What are you doing?"

He scrolled up. "Here. 'you look cute today'," he read from the screen, and continued. "Your makeup looks so cool!'. 'That outfit looks hot. All due respect'. 'i could never do a presentation like that. You know having a genius fake girlfriend is pretty cool'." And he kept on. "'I didn't know you liked the X-men! Who's your favorite?'. You asked him if he was mad that you called him Eli here. He said 'its fine if its you'. 'We kinda look like a real couple here'." Miguel showed you the picture he referred to in the text, on you posted on your instagram stories that Aisha had taken of you when you weren't looking, while you were out at golf 'n' stuf with everyone.

Maybe... maybe this was worth it. Maybe.

. . .

You took a deep breath before knocking on Eli's front door, now there was no going back. No matter what happened next, you would know you tried it. You did something. You told him how you felt.

He answered the door with a frown, confused. Obviously not expecting you. His hair was down, and he had it covered with the hood of his hoodie, which was a first for you. He looked tired. "What are you doing here?"

"Were you really?"

"What?"

"Were you really expecting Moon? At the party?"

He sighed. "I asked her to come. But not why you think! I'd finally figured it out, you know, with you. And I realized I'd been acting like an asshole with her, and that's not fair. So I wanted to apologize. But you came by first."

"And how can I know? That you're not lying to me."

"Well I guess you can't."

"Then what do I do?"

"I guess it's up to you. If you believe me or not."

"Should I?"

"Well I'm biased, but I do think so. Cause I'm about to tell my biggest secret ever."

"Which is?"

"I'm in love with you. Like, really."

"How can I know this isn't gonna go wrong? Like how do you make rules for real relationships?"

He laughed. "You don't. You just let things happen."

"And if they don't happen the way I want them to?"

"Then you move on."

"Do you think we could make things work?"

He opened a smile. "I do. Do you?" He walked up to you, holding you by the waist, looking down at your face.

You didn't reply. Because you didn't know the answer. But he made a decision for you. He leaned in, and kissed you. And you thought maybe for a second you could make it work.

You pulled away smiling. "So are you expelled?"

"No," he laughed. "But I am suspended for a week."

"That sucks."

He just shrugged. "Worth it."

"I heard you broke his nose."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No. Fuck him."

He grinned.

"I can come over you know, if you're ever bored. I assume your mom also got you grounded."

"Yeah. But just for a week too. She understood."

"Oh did she?"
That feeling of being on a bubble where there was just you and him and nothing else faded away quickly when Aisha ran by calling your name.

You turned around, startled. "Aisha? What are you doing here?"

"I-" She stopped, breathing heavily, clearly having ran her way there. "Miguel told me you'd be here. I need to tell you something."

"Could it- could it not be any other time?"

"I need to get this off my chest right now or I'm gonna die."

"Okay."

"I sent the letters out, please don't kill me."