TO ALL THE BOYS I'VE LOVED BEFORE AU

CHAPTER 4 - THE TOURNAMENT PARTY

"So what's your deal?"

"What do you mean?"

"With the letters. You're just out there writing love letters you never planned on sending?"

"Well yeah."

"Why?"

"Well. I guess because. You know, dating and all. It's all great when I'm reading about it or thinking about it. But I've never really had it happen with me. And at this point, pretty much everyone else has, so I'm just, you know, that one inexperienced person. It's kind of scary."

"Scary? Why is it scary?"

"Well because what if it never does happen?"

"What that's bullshit I've seen you get asked out a few times!"

"You have?"

"Yeah. And you said no."

"Because what if I'm not good at it?"

"What you can't be bad at dating."

"Yes you can."

"You're doing it right now? Are we not dating?"

"Well it's not real, so that's easier."

He looked... disappointed. But why? "Right. Can always count on you to be honest."

"Something wrong? I don't-"

"Yeah, it's fine. We should go." Things didn't look fine. But you wouldn't be one to push him about it.

"Okay."

. . .

He dropped you off and only about ten minutes after you got a notification. You opened instagram, only to find a selfie he took of the two of you earlier at the party. You could see why Moon thought you looked good together.

Theoretically, obviously. This was good. For the situation, you know. It was good that it was believable.

You couldn't help but laugh at the cheesy caption that accompanied the post. 'Me and bae".

You hesitated before deciding it was fine to text him.

bae? nerd

HAWK
<3

. . .

Fake-dating Hawk was getting easier and easier. You shared the same friends, so not much changed at all. Creeps like Kyler were scared of him, so they stopped bothering you, and having a hot fake-boyfriend didn't hurt. Things were... okay with Miguel, as much as they could be considered the small bit of awkwardness that still lingered, and you'd found in Demetri a new best friend.

Aisha, despite the initial worry, was now your number one supporter, and you hoped it wouldn't take such a toll on her when you eventually had to break up.

Now, you were on your way to dinner with Hawk's mom, and you couldn't stop yourself from overthinking everything, from your outfit to how you should act. You supposed her son did have a mohawk and a huge back tattoo (well to be fair she actually didn't know about that one), so it's not like she'd be shocked by you, but it was stronger than you.

Dinner went great, but his mom seemed to be so excited about him getting with a girl after the whole Moon thing. You hadn't realized until then how hurt he'd gotten with all that. But his mom got attached to you so quickly it seemed like she was holding onto you for him to keep this Hawk persona and not reverse back to the boy that got bullied so bad he'd come home crying everyday. You couldn't help but wish your families didn't have to get involved.