Claimed

Chapter 36: Moving On

Ben's POV:

I'd helped Alejandro with so many deliveries, it didn't faze me anymore. Though there was one moment I always paid attention to if I could. The moment we set the baby on the mom's chest. This look you could only see on a mother holding her baby for the first time was one of the most powerful things I'd ever seen. Pure love and adoration. Literal love at first sight. Nothing compared to that look, but I found my eyes were nowhere on Talia except when they needed to be.

They were on Sophia.

She was good at a lot of things, but seeing her sit with Talia through that birth was different. Sophie and Darius were perfection. Any time Talia's legs cramped, Darius was working them out for her. Darius gave her physical support, and Sophie gave her emotional support. Having lost her mate and now birthing their son without him, Talia was a mess of tears and not just because giving birth was difficult. Sophie murmured reassurances in her ear and talked her through her breathing and everything else.

When Alejandro rested the crying, red-faced baby on her chest, it wasn't Talia I watched. It was Sophie. The number of times I'd seen her tear up were few, but she teared up hard when it was done. Then, when Talia needed a little break because she was exhausted, Sophie was the next person to hold the baby.

Air left my lungs to see her holding that baby. The smile on her face, the tears making her eyes sparkle, and the way she held him protectively but gently... All I could do was stare like an idiot. It was such a soft moment. She rocked him and whispered to him, curled her finger around his short dark hair and kissed his forehead more times than I could keep track of.

"He's perfect," she murmured, her lips against his head as she swayed back and forth. "A little miracle."

I rubbed the back of my neck and focused no not staring. There had to be communication. We had to talk about what happened in my room, but the baby was the focus now. "What do you mean, a miracle?"

"He's what we needed. The first baby in the pack. We needed hope, something to breathe life into this pack instead of weigh us down with the losses we've faced. This is our fresh start." She brushed her fingers across his hairline. "The rest of my life is going to be full of moments like this. Good moments. I'm letting the rest of it go and stay in the past where it belongs. Alana said I've been..." She swallowed and rested her cheek against the baby's head. "I've been punishing myself for things I couldn't control. I'm not doing that anymore. This is my chance to start over and I'm going to give it everything I have."

I nodded and leaned against the wall, my eyes on the ground. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Move on without the people you lost."

Silence hung between us and I looked up to see her smiling sadly. "I'm not moving on without Santi, Ben. I'm creating a life he would be proud of instead of one where any part of him marked the death of me. I've been living like my life ended with him, like I couldn't have anything good without him. But that's not honoring his memory. I'll love him until I die, and I'll think of him every day, but unless I continue living, I might as well have died with him. And I don't think he'd ever want that for me. I think it would hurt him to think his absence doomed me to a life of pain and nothing else."

We held each other's gaze and it was like time stopped until I looked away first. A lump formed in my throat and it only got worse when I tried to say something. Then Talia called for Sophie and she went to Talia, muttering I should get to bed because she would probably be with Talia and the baby all night.

Alejandro walked in with fresh clothes and clapped me on the back. "You should get some rest. You've been working too much again. Want a sleep brew?"

Swallowing the lump didn't work, it was too big. I shook my head and linked as I walked away. Let me know if you need anything else from me tonight.