After the World Has Fallen~ John Egan x Reader

How Scars Are Made

It's almost as if the world had stopped. Her heart went from racing to a steady, near-death slow beating. How can the world be so cruel? Why must it make life so difficult? Hitler was a spawn of Satan and if he just accepted that his nation lost the first war, we wouldn't be in this situation.

She's seen this same thing happen to others but never believed it would happen to her. Her leg bounced up and down, causing the table to shake faintly with it. Almost as if there was a mini earthquake. The interrogation room was quiet. The facial expressions twisting in misery as names after names of crews were called out, questioning those who made it back the whereabouts they went down.

Shame-faced and distraught, the crews that made it back desperately checked their maps to see the last seen coordinates of their fellow pilots. It had been a dangerous mission. One that didn't go as planned. The action that had happened in the air had taken a toll on the men's memory. They couldn't remember where or when things happened while they desperately fought for their lives, watching planes drop left right and center.

Curt was gone.

She was informed about what had happened earlier in the debrief as his name was one of the first to be said. One of the men had piped up, saying that he called in over the radio that his co-pilot was badly injured. He had attempted to land safely on German territory in hopes to get him some sort of medical attention. Unfortunately, his plane had plummeted to the ground, going up in flames almost immediately.

Her best friend was dead. Dead because he tried to help someone. Dead in an instant.

Her head couldn't comprehend the mental stress that it was undergoing. Buck was missing as well. The good part for him was that it was said someone saw parachutes before his plane went down too. She had hope. Hope that he was still alive. She knew she would see him again, she just didn't know when. She convinced herself earlier that Buck would do anything to stay alive.

The tears were welling up in Y/N's eyes, yet she dared not to let them fall. Not in front of the captain, not in front of anyone. She wasn't weak, she could hold herself together until the meeting was over, but she was breaking.

The worst part of it all is Bucky decided to go on a little adventure when he found out he didn't have to fly. Probably to another bar. The only man she could go to in this moment was out doing god knows what, while she has to listen to the 'no's' and 'we didn't mark it down'. Every time she heard those words being repeated, the light inside her dimmed a little bit more. How did this happen? How did they manage to lose so many?

It wasn't just Y/N who thought this way. On the other side of the room was the captain. Fists and jaw clenched tightly, disappointed with the lack of information he was receiving. He had lost some of his best pilots and he was lost on what to do.

She couldn't last in the meeting much longer, not with everything she was hearing. Standing up abruptly, she pushes her chair back under the desk forcefully, creating a loud screeching noise that earned her a few turns of heads and walked out of the interrogation room. Everyone could see how burdened she was by the news of losing her close friends. No one had dared to say anything, thinking it was best not to and throwed her a few sympathetic looks instead. They knew Bucky would be there for her once he got back but right now, she was fragile. One wrong move and she would break without intention.

She slammed her cabin door shut, pressing her back against the rough wooden door. She slid down to the floor slowly, the weight of the day hitting her hard. She pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned her head back until it hit the door with a soft 'thud'. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, the familiar scent of her room bringing a sense of comfort to her distraught state.