I'm not uncomfortable sharing a room with P'Pha. It's great, to be honest, yet I feel uncomfortable and unable to act normally.But this awkwardness is a good thing. I knew I couldn't behave normally with P'Pha because I like him. Yes, I'm worried he'll see my flaws or maybe I'll do anything to make the P'Pha uncomfortable. One-sided love is extremely hard. Aside from paying attention to your behaviors, you should consider how the person you love might think of you. I guess I am becoming tired of everything.
"What is that expression on your face? " P'Pha looks up from playing on his iPad and looks at me as i think about this whole situation.
" Am I disturbing you?" After his shower, P'Pha sat on the sofa and is now playing something on his tablet, so how can he disturb me?
"I can leave if you can't sleep."
I think I'm too lost in my thoughts again.
"No need. So what about you? Am I bothering you?" I not only replied a question with a question, but I also questioned something that has been on my mind for quite some time.
Silence....
Please let me jump off the balcony into the pool below if he says yes, because I'll just die of embarrassment.
"Crazy?" P'Pha exclaims, turning to me. "We sit far apart and do our own thing; how can you bother me?"
What a relief!
"Sorry, I guess it's not very fun to sit with me," I say slowly.
"What's wrong with you? Do I need to have fun every time we're together? You're crazy!"
He doesn't seem to care much about it, so why do I care so much?
"What are you looking at?" P'Pha sits on the sofa while I take up the bed. More accurately, he takes a seat, lies for a while, and carefully studies something on his tablet that is resting on his lap.
" I'm looking for something."
"About what?"
P'Pha gives me a slightly disappointed look, as though I'm asking too many questions. I mean, how can we even talk if you don't respond?
"Piano chords."
"Do you play the piano too? " I nearly dropped my jaw. In high school, when P'Pha wasn't playing basketball, he was usually playing guitar with his friends. I couldn't remember he could play the piano.
"No I do not know how to." Eh? Was I wrong?
"This is for you. Not much time left before the competition. Have you thought about this?" I don't know what to answer.
This is actually my problem, but he does it for me.
I'm so honored.
"What happened to you? You look very funny now. Are you flattered?"
"Not a bit," I immediately deny.
"So where did you stop?"
"I don't know, I'm not the one playing."
"Then why were you looking for chords?"
"Come and see for yourself."
My heart starts tapping when he finishes speaking. It's just a song choice, but I'm worried I'll reveal my thoughts by saying something, or he'll see it in my eyes, because we're all alone in the room right now.
" I don't bite," P'Pha is already rising, sitting straighter on the sofa.
Okay, good. It would be preferable if they helped me in selecting a music rather than doing so on my own. I usually consult Ming on everything, but this time he's training Muay Thai for a talent competition, so I opted not to disturb him. I move slowly towards P'Pha. He seemed to be preparing to go to bed. Even though he no longer appears to be dazzling, I still think P'Pha is too handsome.
