Intro
As I try to redefine myself. through personal bouts with failure, aging, self-harm, self-resilience, and selfish behavior. With the support of my peerless friends and diligent
family. I've spent too long neglecting myself, others, loves and lovers out of foolish male pride. I entered summer 19 with an archaic
hopeful stride. Still young enough to try.
Memento Mori
Delusions of grandeur
Mind shattered and fractured
Pieces of thought whispered then scattered
I'm running out of ideas I don't know what matters
I meet women who want to be entertained and flattered
Adjusting to their ideology framed in dialogue that leave my sense self in tatters
Egos crushed underneath the guise of a potential sexual encounter
Vices clamor around a fast paced disaster
Absorbing self-dysfunction it's a part of my pattern
Summers here and I'm bound for more defining
encounters
Still alive
Damned If i succeeded in what i tried
Perception changed in the morning I lived and died
Last strides
Dark thoughts self chides
I was drowning in self indulgence I dive
Debauchery celebrated I remember high fives
Quiet alone far from home hiding everything inside
Body language defensive in front of others I cried
I wasn't taught to emote just to survive
I wished my dad couldve taught me how to drive
I thank aaron for all his rides
I thank the nurse who helped me walk she braced my pride
I thank friends that died
I think we can overcome anything after fear is put aside
I Gotta find my Way
Sun kiss my face
Kept it quiet but I just beat my case
Dabbling with fate
They didn't get this black man in there cage
I can still hear the jiggling chains
I asked questions they treat it like I'm taking aim
Like I should know my lane
I felt heavy enough to land my plane
Only my Auntie and Uncle knew my shame
I almost had a bar code for a name
Moonlight ekes in the night washing away the self-blame
The matrix
Mobbing with Deontay
That's my right hand for the weekend holiday
We made a lot of moves things we can't say
So much missy bottled in 3 days
Way I play the game I need a raise
I wish I still felt goose bumps when I look in a woman's face
I'm lonely and greedy and I got charms in spades
Nothing gets me stirred no one consoled my pain
We were too busy chasing the vain
Internalizing it in my veins
Mixing the sauce till I crash into Monday
I'll be happier soon as I get to Friday
A year without
Taking shots at the tre
Highlights of the nights I still feel to this day
You always sinned with such grace
Life was easier with you around I could always run to your place
Time and trust something we both casually betray
This weather reminds me of our last days
Self-control in the wind seems like you were a gift and a bane
A person, a vision, a time and place
Somebody I could never truly blame
I miss you and I hope that you're the same
Kicking Habits
Its temporary magic
I tore through vice like a seamstress does fabric
Name It I had it
Nothing helps I feel aphotic even when lit
I commemorate everything I want to forget
It's an arduous task to play with what's forbid
I was rocketing away from every emotion I hid
Tension building I uncover the lid
What I was isn't who I am
We got the Juice
Emulated, investigated, subjugated its obviously orchestrated
Villains have children who pass on hatred as legislation
The narrative parasitic and dated
I'm tired of conversations over what's racist
How many politicians need to wear to black faces?
How many died in-between police brutality and mishandled cases
We had different bathrooms one Granma ago them feelings hardly faded
Their kids dance to our blues in return they make us famous
Millions to melenated kids from the pavement
Black blood, sweat, and tears America dances to the cadence
