Dear Alexander,
Alex, Did you remember, this name was my life. It would be wrong if I say that it was not but still also this only name is my lifeline. It might be impossible for you to trust. you had not contacted me that was the evidence justifing the fact, I lost your trust.
It's strange to think, how could hatred be more important than love between the people who were close to each other. 20 years, 20 Damm years had been passed. This much long journey I had walked alone. I was surrounded by people, relationship but there was nobody so close to my soul, as you Alex.
I tried to move, for the sake I was being rejected, for the sake of you wanting me to leave, for the only sake I lost my value in your eyes. I tried hard to move on, I had been into some relationship but I failed, as a person I failed to convey my emotions, my feelings and it portrayed me as a emotionless person. I failed to be honest. How could I connect with someone when somebody else stays in my heart.
Many a times bad thought ruled out my mind. Nightmares of losing you forever, were getting stronger these days. It was an constant inner call to meet you for the very last time was growing immensed. I m soon going to celebrate my 41 birthday, it would be a miracle if you decide to surprise me out. Waiting eagerly for you.
My love, Alexander
Jane
