An Outcast From My Own

Chapter 2 : Disappointment

" Come here sweety I baked your favorite cake today " , these were some of my first memories of her.Although I'm never fond of sweet things I graciously accept those, as my craving for her attention knows no bounds. I was five when my mother welcomed my beloved sister into this world , unlike the other sibling stories or fight for affection I really liked her. " Isn't she's just so cute ,she looks exactly like you " every one used to say that. At this time around my father's attitude toward 'us' precisely towards my sister changed. He started becoming a more like a father that I idolize ,towards my sister. Growing up the only acknowledgment I want was from that man. Finally after nine years of their marriage, my mother and he decided to live together. Until now he is a 'banjara' ( nomadic) and the only permanent address he knows is of ours. A place where he can return after he is done with his turmoil.Reminiscing back now I realises, that my father was never a kind of man who'd want to have a family and can take responsibility he used to think of us liability . But as the saying goes  "blood flows thicker than water " .He got attached to us or atleast to some of us after all we were his family and not an obligation.My father who wants to be free just like a hawk who, roams and rules the sky with all might, but was trapped in the cage named responsibility by 'one of their own '.
Years went by it was my 13th birthday my father promised me to take me to my favorite restaurant   celebration. It was the first time he initiated something.I was very happy, and excited that I couldn't sleep all night the morning when I woke up he was not there my mother told he got an early shift so he will come back in the evening. I was patiently waiting for him, every second of that day feels like a millennial, but as time went on, the clock hit 5 P. M. We have our reservation at 6 P. M. At 5.30 I got a single text from him which reads
" sorry beta, I can't make it I have some plans with my friends" . That was the moment when my heart hurt for the first time, I was furious at the fact that he broke his promise, that he didn't make it, that he gave me this hope to that our relation can still be healed, after he lived years in ignorance. " And the fact that hurt me the most was that, he never wished me happy birthday. The wild thoughts are running into my head I was disappointed not with but with myself to thought that for once in a life time I can be someone's priority. I shouldn't have done that I shouldn't have left my guard down , so people can attack that. I felt like the most disappointed person on that day.