The Change ; A Tachizaki Fic

Chapter 8: What It's Really Like

THIRD PERSON POV:

Junichiro tripped over the pyjama pants that were slightly too big on him since them being a gift from Kyouka, who anticipated his height to be slightly taller than he was.

He was in a state of sheer confusion. He and Dazai never really talked much, nor did they really have a kind of recognisable bond that was noticeable by clients. Such as Atsushi and Junichiro did. So why did he need to talk?

Dazai led the two down to the cafe just underneath the Agency, it was now desolated due to the time being exceedingly late, especially for a random talk. 

Now, Dazai was always a mysterious character. He was always happy when in large groups, but when spotted on his own he just looked empty. He was a man that brought a sense of uncertainty over everyone. A sense that they knew him, they knew Dazai, but did they know Osamu?

Dazai took down the chairs stacked on top of the tables and placed two onto the floor so that they could have a comfortable surrounding when speaking.

"You look a bit on the edge there Junichiro, I promise you i'm not here to scold you or anything." Dazai spoke up.

Junichiro knew he wouldn't be scolded. He didn't necessarily have anything to get scolded for, did he? 

"Uh, thanks?" He replied in a higher tone.

Dazai changed the manner that he sat in, from a comfortable, tranquil manner to a now more serious one. He sat down with his hands just below his chin in a way a boss would when leading a meeting. It sent Junichiro into a wave of alarmed emotions. He didn't know whether it was a bad thing, or just Dazai getting him ready for what he would have to face tomorrow.

Just thinking of it made Junichiro feel utterly helpless. Tomorrow. That was the day that he would have to leave this life behind. This life he knew as his own, would have a drastic change, he didn't want it to happen, but if it could happen to anyone else in the agency he was glad it was him.

Dazai waved his hand in front of Tanizaki's face before muttering, 

"Junichirooooo, hey? You alright there buddy?"

Tanizaki snapped his head towards Dazai.

"Oh, yeah! Yeah, sorry about that." he mumbled.

"Great, now let's get to the chase, shall we?" 

Junichiro swallowed, what did Dazai mean by "the chase"? Was it a physical term or a metaphorical term? 

Dazai sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"The mafia, Junichiro. The fucking mafia." He said in an agitated tone.

"OH. Shit, yeah." Tanizaki said in realisation.

Of course, about 4 years ago Dazai himself was in the mafia, and had been in there for 8 years before that. He must know what the mafia is like.

"It's an absolute haven of depression." Dazai sighed into his hands.

The words stung. Of course Tanizaki hasn't got his hopes up for it being some kind of  upbeat, enjoyable environment, but the confrontation of it hurt.

"I got out of there because I was so overcome with severe depression that was uncureable whilst being in that filthy place. It leaves you bombarded with desolation and pure anxiety to the point that you can't cope anymore." Dazai rambled out, his voice breaking at some points as if he was on the verge of tears.

"Yeah, I know what it's like in there. I've had some uh, talks with someone who knows about the mafia environment." Tanizaki muttered.

"Tachihara i'm guessing?" Dazai questioned.

"Yeah..how did you know that?" 

Dazai sighed deeply before letting out a slight laugh, a more breathy one than a genuine one.

"Well, let's just say that once you're in the Port you don't forget anything. From places to people, you must remember every single thing. Tachihara for instance was always there for the rookies and new people who turned up. Yet, i've never seen nor heard of him to go this far out of his way to talk to someone."

"Say, Junichiro, did he ever comfort you about the idea of going to the Port Mafia?" He spoke, turning to look Tanizaki in the eye.

Junichiro pondered for a moment, thinking of all the time they had shared in the past week. They'd been shopping, gone to various restaurants, had a picnic or two and danced around the lake. However, one memory did tie in with Dazai's question.

One night, after going out for the day and going to a restaurant, they had returned back to Tachihara's apartment downtown.

This was where Junichiro had a complete breakdown about leaving people, about how he truly had a quaking fear of hurting the people who he cared for. He was feeling in an abrupt state of loneliness and couldn't shake it off like normal, he wanted his life to feel normal again, but he could never achieve that now. 

Tachihara proceeded to keep Junichiro at his house that night, he aided him with food and drink and a comfortable space in which he could rest and relax. They watched through Tanizaki's favourite shows and movies while whenever he got a wave of sadness, Tachihara would simply sit there and reassure him that he would always be there for him. This was more than comfort to Tanizaki, for the first time in weeks he had felt genuinely cared for, and a glint of happiness shone in his eyes for the remaining hours.

Tanizaki cleared his throat before speaking, "Yeah, uh yeah, he did actually..".

"Seems the guy has a soft spot for you, 'zaki." Dazai chuckled.

Tanizaki turned over to Dazai with a questioning look on his face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tanizaki inquired.

"When I tell you that that man REFUSED to ever give therapeutic help to anyone, I mean it. He still hates comforting people now, Chuuya tells me all the fucking time. Always talks about how whenever anyone reaches out to him for sympathy, he doesn't know how to give it... so I wonder what's different about you huh?" Dazai finished his sentence with a smile.

Tanizaki froze. With the way Tachihara had treated him, he would've thought that he was a therapist in the past or something along those lines anyway. So it left him with only one thought, what is different about him?

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A/N 🔆💗

word count: 1032 words

I AM SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS TOOK. i've been going through a lot recently regarding my mental health so i apologise for the pace of chapter releases, but please bare with me while i cope with the shit i'm going through right now. There of course will be new chapters soon enough and i'm slowly but surely recovering so expect some more frequent updates!! 💝