Mortal Kombat One-Shots

Constipation (Johnny Cage x F!Reader)

Constipation was definately a subject many were embarrassed to address about. And they had every reason to! Not being able to use the restroom wasn't something one would feel comfortable voicing aloud. That is, until it reaches a point where it makes your daily life a living hell.

"Hey , uh , dad? I was wondering..." The blonde female sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. Unsure of how to finish her question. "... do you know of any cures for constipation?"

"Lemme guess, Quan-Chi? Cuz that guy's full of shit."

"What? No, dad! I'm serious!" Cassie exclaimed. "It's... it's for a friend."

"Cas , hun, if you're having trouble taking a crap th-"

"IT"S (NAME), OKAY?!" Cassie fumed. Enraged and embarrassed. So much for secrecy.

"She's the cute one, right?"

"You think all my friends are cute."

"Yeah, but she's the one with the cute butt, right?" The actor pressed on.

"...yes. The one with the cute butt."

"Well why didn't you say so?" Johnny exclaimed. Side-stepping his daughter, he snatched up a jingle of keys. And before Cassie could ask, out the door he went.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Name) laid curled up in bed. Arms clutching her stomach. She was beginning to regret her sudden diet change. Who knew it would have affected her this badly? Even so, laxatives were out of the question. Her stomach felt too bloated to even move without aching. Blegh. What is life?

"(Name)?" A voice called from below the second floor. "(Name), ya home?"

The female quickly groaned. Had she forgotten to lock the fucking door? Nothing against whoever was down there, but she wasn't exactly in the best of moods.

"There ya are , hot stuff !" Johnny boomed, as he had more or less barged into her bedroom.

"Hey, Mr.Cage." She responded weakly.

"Heard you weren't feeling so well." The movie star made himself comfortable by laying next to her. Arms crossed behind his head.

"Oh God..." In utter embarrassment, she sunk down into the mattress. How much worse could this get?

"Know what always made me feel better? Jokes."

She just had to ask didn't she? It's not that he wasn't funny. Heck, fucker could be a comedian if he wanted. With the sarcastic attitude and all. But he was a dad now. And with every dad comes...

Dad jokes.

"T-that's alright, Mr.Cage. I-" But her protests went unheard as--

"What cheese can never be yours? Nacho Cheese."

Dear Elder Gods, hear out a poor girls pleas.

"Last night me and Sonia watched three DVD's back-to-back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV."

Chuuuurrrrnnnn!

(Name) gripped her stomach tighter. This is not what she signed up for.

"Oh! How about this one? What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!"

That did it.

Off to the nearest restroom she went.

"Wait, here's a better one-- Where'd ya go?"

Flush !

Sighing in bliss, (Name) walked out of the restroom and fell face-first on the bed. Never in her life had she felt so relieved. Well, actually, there was that time they saved Earthrealm-- Anyways!

"Thanks, Mr.Cage." Her voice muffled against the satine sheets, but audible enough.

"No problem, hot stuff. So where was I?"

'The Elder Gods can suck my ass.'

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I get constipated a lot, so , y'know. Inspiration.

On a side note, Wattpad appears to be fucking me up the ass right now. 'Dunno if it's raping others, too. So the fic might have some minor problems.