devil's desired one

Darkness🖤

My mind is a mess
And I'm drowning deep in the sea of darkness
I feel immense pleasure yet my heart bleeds at the same time
Is this madness or something else....
I don't know why..
But I kinda finds myself drowning in the sea of guilt
As if I'm sinning against the god
I so much adore
Why why why Why why
Do I find pleasure when the devil whispers as if honey drips in my ears
How could I be so incapable of resisting the urge....
And my mind begs mercy to the Lord I pray while shedding the sea of tears yet drowning my eyes in it .
My heart prays.... For someone anyone to arrive just come and save me from the whispers ,
whispers so sweet that I could melt and once I do I become a sinner so I couldn't give in...
Oh he stares at me so deeply so madly but I'm afraid to even flinch
It shows tenderness ,affection , seducing me in such a way I can never understand ........

My mind becomes a maze and sinner become my name
so I urge to lose myself,
In a deep slumber so
atleast I could resist those caresses
Urging me to just lose myself..

Should I just lose me....
No no no no no no no
I can't do that he's gonna take me somewhere far away.. Just the two of us.. Away from the mercy .... And so I can not be forgiven ...
I hate my mind for associating this madness with love.. How could it be love , have I became so lost that I can no longer differentiate falsehood from the truth...

I wish to offer my hand to it not to it
I want to touch it I don't want that
I wanna feel it no not to feel

I wanna embrace it and drown along with it... But I can tell that it's dangerous.. The entity isn't so kind afterall....
It doesn't feel human..
Oh lord.... I'm falling..