Spellbound

Chapter 1

Laila , they could have named me Layla or Leila which is a better variation of Laila but no they had to name me Laila which by the way means night , daughter of darkness or holy as per Hebrew and Arabic dictionary and honestly I can't relate with any of the two. I never cared much about my name until i was bullied for it for an entire year , there was this girl in the class named Layla , she made her life mission to bully me to an extend that i would change my name so she could have a unique name. But after a year we weren't classmates anymore so i guess she forgot about me , which i am thankful for. I was very introvert , reserved kind of a kid, teachers liked me even though i was not the brightest student , you could say that i was a decent , non problamtic kid . Not many people took interest in me until i joined college . I did my graduations in business administration as i want to start a business someday , honestly i have no idea what kind of business ,let's see what kind of opportunity the future will bring .

I don't know why i am like this , i haven't found a job since the completion of my graduation and instead of looking for a job here i am staring at the wall and contemplating my life choices, sometimes i wonder am i the only one who keeps making mistakes after mistakes on regular interval or do others do that too, i think they do that as well but they are just good at hiding shit . Anyways coming back to my mistakes , I don't know what went wrong but something must have went terribly wrong because which 25 year old sits at home with no love life , no sex life , no friends . Well it's not that bad even though it may sound like it is , i am actually loving the solitude life . I have time for myself to sit and relax , to think about life deeply , to do things my way , to try new things and i do have people who i hang out with occasionally , i have a wonderful family who always support me , is always there for me . Apparently the only thing that is missing is a job .

From all my mistakes i have learned only one thing that no relationship or no work can bring happiness , your happiness is in your hands and if you keep getting it from external sources then you might have to spend a lifetime to find it. This is the mistake I kept on making repeatedly , i handled over the remote of my emotions to other people and no matter how nice the people were they would always end up causing me hurt , sometimes unintentionally sometimes intentionally ,doesn't matters what matters is that i have to bear the burnt of it so this has to end soon or this will end me eventually . Hence, i have decided that i will focus on myself , my goals , my hobbies which by the way is reading , i love reading . When i am reading i am home , I don't need anything more from life at that point , not even food or water. Well it might not be true but that's what all readers feel i believe.

Due to busy schedule I haven't read in a really long time , the last book i read was verity by Colleen hoover , it was a good read but i need more of those romance and forbidden stuff. I think people like me who don't want or get love in real life , they get it from other sources like movies or books . And honestly i feel love and romance in books are thousand times better than in real life , even the series or dramas , they are written and presented so beautifully , the real life romance cannot beat it in a million years . Reading and watching these things only makes me want to get real life experience but then i see real people and how bare minimum they're are willing to do and how much draining it can be just makes me want to not get involved into these things. My last relationship was a complete mess , everything was good for an year you know happy happy I was over the moon but the next year things took a very drastic turn its like the personality of that person totally changed . It went from a happy relationship to a toxic one real quick. After fifth or sixth attempt , things finally ended for good . It took me about two years to finally get over it , now i am enjoying my happy single life . Although there are days where i feel down or feel that i need pampering and love but other than those couple of days everything is good .

Now back to the problem in hand i really need to get a job because all the money that i had saved up will not be able to support me for another month , i have applied and appeared for a couple of interviews but no luck so far . I sometimes question what god has planned for me but my mother always used to say god sees everything and he will always give us the best so hang in there . That's exactly what i am doing , hanging in there.

My mother is someone who stand strong for their belief , loves taking care of her family , looks into the smallest details , cares for everyone , super sensitive and very happy and positive person as for my father he can be funny at times , loves working ,very laid back person and bit religious . They are the best parents anyone could ask for , not only as parents as an individual as well they have a great personality , i am super lucky so have them.