South Park: KAHL ROMANCE DRAMA PROTAGONIST

1st Tuesday of September

"Doing the Unstuck" pours out of his phone's speakers as he rolls over and stretches his arms before sitting up. He grabs his phone to make sure it's 6am. It is. That's sort of the point of setting alarms, after all.

He rises, yelping, "To get up aaaaaand go!" in a bad impression of Robert Smith's voice.

Grabbing some clothes and walking across the hall into the bathroom, he goes about the business of getting ready merrily. The excitement isn't so much from it being the first day of his senior year but rather that his best friend should be back from camp. Stan had gotten nailed one too many times for drinking and whatever other substances Kyle didn't want to know about.

When he's done, he goes back to his room and double checks that his backpack has all his supplies before heading for the stairs. On the way, he knocks on his little brother's door.

"C'mon kid, it's time for eighth grade!" Kyle says in a sing-song voice.

"Fuck off!" Ike yells.

That goddamn brat, Kyle sighs as he makes his way downstairs.

He grabs a granola bar quickly from the kitchen pantry and starts to go out the front door before he's stopped by his mother's voice.

"Kyle Broflovski, tell me that's not all you're eating for breakfast on your first day!" Sheila stands at the bottom of the stairs, crossing her arms.

""First day", Mom, I've gone to the same school for three years-"

"Don't sass me, you know what I mean." She rolls her eyes.

"I just wanna go see Stan before the bus comes."

"Oh, alright. Just don't complain later if you're hungry before lunch."

"Okay!" He calls, as he turns and leaves.

Kyle just about skips on his way to the Marshes' residence, a few houses down from his. Stan's mom answers when he rings the doorbell.

"Oh, good morning, Kyle! He's upstairs." She smiles, letting him in.

He barely replies before rushing upstairs and throwing Stan's door open.

Buried under several blankets amd his head under his pillow, the boy snores.

He's such a bastard. I rushed here to see him, meanwhile he's still sleeping.

Kyle frowns momentarily. Then he smirks, taking a few steps and throwing himself on top of the sleeping form.

"What the hell-?!" Stan's voice rasps.

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. Bitch." He pinches Stan's nose.

"Ugh, Kyle, why would you-"

"Didn't you miss me?"

"Of course, Ky." He yawns, clumsily putting his arm around the other boy, "Just not your morning chipperness..."

Kyle rises while patting him on the back, "C'mon, Stanney boy, it's time to get up."

"Mm, since when are you my father?"

"You didn't know? I thought Sharon would've told you by now.." He jokes.

"I guess it's better than Randy." Stan yawns again, stretching.

"Your dad's not that bad."

Stan sits up fully, giving him a stern look.

"He's.. he's a little obnoxious." Kyle concedes.

"A little." Stan grunts.

Kyle follows him around, yapping about this and that, as he gets ready, not even leaving when Stan starts changing clothes.