Renne Cartel, Russo's niece

2-Can't

Next tuesday- the day of the meeting

You wake up to the sound of pots banging and know less is trying to cook, you walk down the stairs and see her with pancake batter everywhere and the pots all over the floor. It seems to bring you happiness for the first time in a long time, you let out a little laugh before sitting down with a glass of orange juice.

Alessia: "Sorry hun, i was trying to make pancakes"

Renne: "It's okay lessi, i know you aren't the best cook anyway" you smile a bit

Alessia: "alright then cheeky, how about i get you some cereal and then your going to have to get ready"

Renne: "Why are we doing something today" you take another sip of orange juice

Alessia: "Remember i have a meeting with Jonas and you have to come with me" your face drops at the idea of seeing the girls and being at the ground your sister loved most.
Alessia: "it's okay, you don't have to speak to anyone and i'll make sure your in a room by yourself if you want"

You nod and get some cereal before going and sitting on your bed, you know you have to get ready but can't move, your frozen knowing that you'll have to be around the people your sister loved most. Tears begin to fall down your cheeks, one after the other and you just sit there playing with the ring that your sister used to have.

Alessia's POV-
I shout up to Renne that we need to go but hear no signs of movement, I know this is going to be hard for her so I give her a few minutes but still can't hear her. We really need to leave at this point so head up the stairs and knock on her door.

Alessia: "Ren we need to get going" I walk in to see her crying on her bed still in the pyjamas she was in this morning.

I know this is going to be a hard day so set out her clothes and help her get dressed, it's like dressing a doll she seems so vulnerable in this moment. I do her hair and hold her hands before leading her out her room. She stops before we get to the stairs and quickly runs back into her room, five minutes go by and she comes out wearing her sister's arsenal top and has her AirPods in. This is going to be long and hard for us both.

Back to Renne's POV-
We get in Alessia's car, I sit in the back and just stare out the window listening to music. The drive there feels like days long, but then I recognise the corner and know we are about to be there. My leg starts shaking, my eyes start watering and all I can think about is her. Riley

Alessia: "We are here Ren, are you ready to go in"

I have no response of course I'm not ready, I don't think I ever will be but I know that Less has to do this and I have to go with her. I step out the car and just stand there for a minute, my mind is racing through all the good times me, Riley and mum had here cheering on Less at her games. I think about them and smile for a second until I spot Katie, Leah and Vic. They were the people she loved most, especially Katie.

Katie: "hey less you alright" she hugs less

Alessia: "hey katie, I'm doing okay thanks"

Katie: "hi kiddo, how you doing" she puts a hand on my shoulder and it just makes me think of Riley, they had a special bond and now she isn't here. She will never be here again and neither will mum.

I can't do this

I can't do this

I can't do this

I run off into the training ground tears streaming down my face, I hear all the girls shouting my name, I see even more of them, all the people my family loved. I keep running I don't even know where to i just know i can't be with the girls.

Alessia's POV-
Shit I completely forgot to tell the girls about her, and now she's run off.

Katie: "shit sorry less, I'll get the girls to look for her"

Alessia: "no Katie don't tell the girls to go near her, it's not your fault I should've told you all how she's been, tell them that if they see her to tell me, I don't need her setting off"

At this point I'm worried, I didn't know how she would react but I know I didn't expect her to just run off like that. I know she is still in the training ground we just don't know where.

Back to Renne's POV-
I stopped running a while ago, I found an empty room and just broke down in there. It's all too much, being here but I have no clue where Less even is and I don't want to see Katie or anyone again. I hear footsteps and freeze in the corner, I dont want to turn around and see who it is but I hear them and immediately know who it is.

Beth: "Renny is that you"

Renne: "Beth" I say my voice cracks a bit so she knows I've been crying

Beth: "It's okay it's just me" she comes into the room and sits down next to me. I love Beth so jump to hug her and cry on her shoulder.

Renne: "I'm sorry" i cry

Beth: "It's okay sweet I'm here" she hugs me and just lets me cry into her, I feel so safe with Beth she's like another big sister.

Renne: "Have you told less I'm here"

Beth: "Yes but I told her your okay with me for a bit" she smiles

Renne: "Does it get easier beffy"

Beth: "It'll hurt and hurt a lot but we have to carry on living, for them, to make them proud" she kisses your head

Renne: "Two weeks ago I had an older sister that loved everyone here, especially Katie that's why it was so hard seeing her. Riley loved it here, she loved everyone here and so did mum. I mean every time I would play football or even do a trick they would be my biggest supporters. Now they are gone, I'm 15 and have no one and can't do what i want to escape because football makes me think of them more" you cry into Beth even more.

Beth: "I'm going to tell you something and you have to listen" she lifts your head up and wipes your tears
Beth: "It's so painful loosing someone especially when they are so close to you, but you aren't alone, you have Less, me and everyone at arsenal. I know I lost my mum but I can't begin to imagine how you feel, but I know you don't have to feel alone. The loss of your sister and mum was so unexpected and it's going to hurt for a long while, but we can't give up. No matter how much I wanted to give up, I needed to remember who i was living for" she tears up but smiles at you.

Renne: "I love you beffy"

Beth: "I love you too little one, do you think you are okay to go find less"

you nod and head out of the room with Beth

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Word count-1245