The Post-it Predicament (a Sherlockxreader fan fiction)

Seven- Welcoming Willow

A/N: Zdravstvuyte reader-chan! Hope you're doing well! I am doing alright. Trying to figure out some school stuff and I haven't been feeling well lately; a bit frustrating but hey, you don't care about my personal life! You care about yours, with SHERLOCK. So I'll just jump right in, yeah? OH! I have a question for you guys, but that'll be at the end.

Sherlock's POV

My mind raced a mile a minute as we climbed in the cab and I told him to step on it. I told (f/n) I loved her. Of course I really did love her. And of course when I told her, I had to go and screw it up by saying we couldn't be together. And all the bollocks about MJ and Peter Parker? Since when was I prone to referencing films?

"Sherlock? Are you okay?" I felt (f/n) reach over and grab my hand. She could tell I was nervous. I was beginning to wonder if she had any sense of deductive reasoning. I knew I didn't look nervous, I was completely stoic to every normal person, but she saw right through it.

I looked at her and forced a smile. "I'm fine."

"I'm not stupid and I'd prefer if you didn't treat me like I am. You might be able to keep your face normal but the signs are all there. Fidgeting around with your hair and itching your face. You're bouncing your knee for Christ sake. The signs are all there hon'."

I smirked and just looked out the window. 

We sat in silence the rest of the way. Soon we arrived at the hospital, the driver not going as fast as I would have liked him to. I was quite nervous about Mary. I had done some reading prior to this to find that childbirth is a very dangerous thing. It apparently it is on the same pain regester of being burnt alive. I definitely wouldn't want (f/n) going through that. 

WHAT?!?!?! My brain yelled at me. YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO DO THAT,SHERLOCK! DO YOU WANT TO LOSE?!?! MORE IMPORTANTLY DO YOU WANT TO LOSE HER?!?!

What was I thinking? I wasn't actually considering a future with (f/N). I mean, settling down was never my thing. Never in my right mind would I want to be married and have children and move to the countryside or the suburbs. I'd get too bored. But if it were with (f/n).... 

"Sherlock!" she said pulling me from my stupor. "They aren't going to let us in, family only." 

"But Mary doesn't have any family. We're her family." 

"Hypothetical family doesnt count, sir," the woman behind the counter said. She was married. Two kids. Boys. They drive her mad. She's having an affair with a doctor here. No scratch that, a nurse.

"Yes, well," I started but (f/n) nudged me telling me to stop. I chose to ignore her. "Look, all I'm going to say is you may as well tell your husband that you want a divorce. The worst thing that can happen is you get shared custody of your kids. Ultimately they'd get to keep the dog. Nope, wait, cat. " 

"Let's go, Holmes." (f/n) grabbed my coat and pulled me into the waiting area. 

We talked a bit on nonsense for a while. watching the small television on the wall. That Who show was on again. (f/n) was telling me about the story, showing she clearly liked it and was regaining more memories. I found myself questioning a lot of the things she was saying though. Some just to tease her. 

It was funny. A lot of times John and I would run out of things to talk about, but it wasn't that way with (f/n). She was such a great listener and wouldn't look disengaged even if I was talking about a stupid case or types of tobacco smoke. But more importantly, I found myself doing the same about her. I would listen to her talk about a film or a television show and I didn't feel bored or like I need to be focusing on something else. 

"I think I'm going to get a job," She said.

"Where?"

"A hotel is looking for a pianist. I figured I'd at least audition for them? I mean, you can't pay for me forever." 

"True."

We had began talking about Sunny Reed. 

"I think someone pressured her into doing it, Sherlock." (f/N) said a bit out of the blue. 

"Do you?"

"Just like your professor. People don't just kill themselves on a whim. He said that the man was right. Someone talked him into it."

My face drained. Moriarty had stuck it right in my face but I didn't realize it. I figured because it had happened before that it wasn't the case. But it was. He went back to A Study in Pink. Except this time it was his job. 

Our conversation was interrupted by a nurse walking into the waiting room and saying our names. Actually the nurse that was with the receptionist. He wasn't married. Straight out of college. She was at least in her 30s. I wasn't going to say anything to him but then (f/n) said as we were walking past: "So you like older women? I mean, do you at least like her kids?"

Before he could respond and kick us out of the hospital I pulled her away the same way she did to me. "Come on, (l/n)."

"Wow Mary, you look like a mess!" I said as I walked in and (f/n) punched me in the rib. She walked over to Mary and sat down beside her on the bed. 

" What he meant to say was you look beautiful, absolutely glowing. "

She readjusted herself to sit up. "You must be (F/n) then?"

"Yes Hello, Mary." She had such a genuine smile. "And you must be John, so nice to finally meet you, Sherlock has said so many good things."

"Has he?" John asked me.

"Not really," she answered. "But I read your blog. Very entertaining." 

"Well thank you!" 

"So where is she?" she asked smiling bigger. God she was beautiful. Snap out of it. 

John walked over and got the baby out of the crib and walked over to (f/n) and I. He handed her to me first and (f/n) looked over my shoulder to see her. 

"Hello there, little one!" She softly said by my ear making me smile. 

I should have been happy. I should have been happy for John and Mary. John now finally being happy and having a normal life. But I wasn't. All I thought about was being lonely. How I didn't have anyone. (f/n) was going to get a job and I was going to be alone. Even if she didn't she wouldn't want this life. She wouldn't want to play the game. Once she saw what I was really like she wouldn't want to hang around me or be in love with me. SHe wouldn't tolerate me. I would never have a partner again. I would be alone. Alone. Alone. 'Alone is what I have, alone is what protects me'. But how wrong I was! I didnt want to be alone. I never did! Once I got the feeling of companionship I never wanted to go back. But then (f/n) came along. And then I felt love. But I can't even bring myself to love her. Its all I wanted to do. But I wouldn't allow myself to do it. 

"I'm going to go, it's getting late." I stood and handed Willow back to Mary. I buttoned my coat and put on my scarf, and walked out the door. 

There was only one thing I wanted. 

A/N: Woah. Sherly's getting a bit emo there. Just wait. It gets a bit emotional. 

So anyway. IF YOU EVER COMMENT ON A CHAPTER NOW IS THE TIME TO DO IT. I have a question; What do you think about smut or lemons? As a writer, I don't necessarily have a problem with writing it, and I have found a place for it to go if it is wanted, but I WILL NOT WRITE IT UNLESS YOU WANT IT. SO IF YOU'RE A DIE HARD FAN OF SMUT, LET A MOOSE KNOW. PLEASE. 

*Moose*