𝐄𝐔𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀 ➛ 𝐌𝐒「 ✓ 」

❦︎𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙿𝚃𝙴𝚁 7 ❦︎.

"You can't fix me Wither! I don't need your bloody saviour complex! I'm not some broken little creature who needs to be put together again!"Ender yelled at him from across their shared dorm room. He was seething with anger, and Wither had no idea why. He desperately just wanted to help his boyfriend calm down so they could talk this out, he hated seeing his boyfriend upset, especially when he didn't know the cause or how to comfort him.

"I'm not trying to fix you angel-"

"Oh don't angel me Wither, it won't get you anywhere." Ender scoffed.

"Endy." Wither tried again, when he didn't get any sort of negative reaction, he decided it would be okay to continue. "I'm not trying to fix you. You are not a project. You are my boyfriend and I love you. I want you to be happy. And if you want it, I want us to be happy together." Wither stared deeply at him, trying to convey just how much he cared for Ender in a single look. Ender looked back at Wither with a vaguely angry look, like he was desperate to maintain his fury, but he had nothing to direct it at.

He already knew how to read Ender so goddamn well though, and saw the true pain behind his amethyst eyes. How he so wanted to ask for help so badly but was too scared to. Too proud to. He had spent his whole life being told that emotions made you weak, that love made you weak, his father had drilled it so far into his head that even wanting to ask for a hug made him flighty and defensive. But this wasn't that, this was deeper, bigger, heavier. He could see that Ender wanted to cry, but just couldn't.

They had talked about this before, how he often needed a release, how he needed to just plain cry, but couldn't. He had described it as a dam, how his tears just could't get past that dam no matter how much he wanted them too. When he got like this he needed Wither to take him into his arms, whisper sweet nothings to him while holding him tightly. He needed Wither's touch and soft reassurances to coax the tears out of him.

Ender had told Wither how wrong he felt when he couldn't cry. How his skin would feel like too tight and itchy, like it wasn't his. How his chest ached, and his lungs burned. He had said he got so angry, at himself and everyone else and got tempted to just punch something. It didn't go away until he finally got the release he needed, whether that be through crying or...

Oh.

"Darling, angel, did you relapse?" Wither asked gently, every part of his expression and body language oozing calm and support once.

"I'm sorry!" The tall figure choked out before collapsing on their dorm carpet. He hid himself in his own arms, rocking back and forth gently. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..." he kept whispering apologies over and over.

"Hey, hey, hey." Wither murmured, rushing to Ender's side, gently coaxing him out of his huddle so he could look into his eyes. "You have nothing to apologize for love, nothing. Recovery isn't linear, and you've been doing so well and I am so goddamn proud of you for how far you've come. You will have relapses, and that's okay, that's normal, and I will always, always, be here to support you through them. Okay?"

"Okay." Ender sniffed. "I was so close to 3 months Wither! But it hurt so bad... it felt so wrong, and I needed it out, I needed it gone." He choked out. "I don't want to be like this anymore wither, I don't want to need this any more." His voice was so raw, so desperate, it almost made Wither cry.

"We'll get you there angel, I'm with you every single step of the way."

"Love you Wither" Ender mumbled tiredly.

"I love you too. Do you still need to cry angel?" Wither prodded. Ender answered with a shake of his head. "Did you clean and bandage the new ones, or do you still need to?."

"Still need to." Ender muttered ducking his head in embarrassment.

"That's alright love, c'mon lets get you sorted out, then we can sleep." Ender was always tired after one of his 'episodes' as he called them, and just wanted to be wrapped in blankets and cuddled until he fell asleep. Wither offered a hand to his boyfriend and gently pulled him to his feet, reaching out to stabilize him when he swayed dizzily. "I just need you to sit on the bed okay, then I'll go get the first aid kit okay?" He got a tired nod in response, and ducked off quickly to their en suite.

He returned to the bed with the first aid kit in hand and sat down next to him.

"Do you want to lay back against the pillows angel? I know this hurts."

"Fuckin' hurts like a bitch." Ender mumbled, laying back down and pulled up his left sleeve, revealing his Mark. He whimpered slightly when the cool air of their dorm hit his cuts.

"Ssh, its alright, it'll be over soon." Wither soothed. He reached into the first aid kit and pulled out an alcohol wipe. Wither hated this, hated hurting Ender, even though he knew it was necessary. He ripped open the package and pulled out the wipe, hovering it over Ender's forearm.

"Just do it Wither, I'll be alright." Ender said tensely. On his prompting, Wither brought the wipe down on Ender's forearm, trying to block out his boyfriends pained grunts as he diligently cleaned out the slices. He made quick work of wrapping out the cuts once they had all been cleaned out, running a soothing hand over Ender's trembling chest.

"Hey you, we just have to get changed, then we can sleep, okay?" Ender only nodded his assent and hoisted himself up, standing from the bed and making his way to his dresser. Wither did the same, and withing minutes they were cuddled up together under the duvet of Wither's bed pressed as close humanly possible.

"'M sorry." Wither heard Ender mumble into his chest.

"Endy, you have nothing to be sorry for okay? I will always be here to help. I love you." Wither said insistently, carding his fingers though Ender's soft hair.

"Love you too." Ender responded, before promptly dropping off into sleep.

▪︎End▪︎