sometimes to stay alive, you gotta kill your mind《joshler》

Chapter 1

"I need to run by a store and grab a couple drinks, we don't have any back at the hotel room." Tyler said.

Josh nodded. "Alright... I gotta pee super bad so I'm gonna go to the room."

"Alright I'll meet you there in like five minutes."

Josh nodded again and Tyler walked in the direction of a little store near the hotel.

He decided to cut through a little alley, since it wouldn't take as long as going around the block. Mistake.

He noticed a man leaning against the dark brick wall. He instantly wanted to get away from him, becuase who doesn't want to get away from creepy men in dark alleys?

He didn't want to be rude, though, so he just walked by the man without paying him much attention other than to nod slightly at him. The man smiled back. More like a sneer.

Tyler jumped when he felt a firm hand on his shoulder. He was forcefully turned around, face to face with the man. Who Tyler noticed was much larger than himself.

"What's a pretty little boy like you doing out here this late?" The man asked, causing Tyler to shiver in fear.

"I- just- uh, my friend an-" The man cut Tyler off by shoving him into the cold brick wall. "Well, your friend won't be finding you after this. I'll put your body somewhere where no one will find you."

Tyler felt tears welling up in his eyes. He struggled to pull away from the man, but the man was stronger than him. Tyler let the tears fall then, along with words. "Please! Please just stop... no, please let me go..."

The man sneered. "I like it when you beg."

Tyler shut up immediately. The man trailed his right hand down Tyler's side. "Look at you... walking around all by yourself, dressed like this. You're practically asking for it."

Tyler shook his head repeatedly. He stared at the ground as the man pushed his hands down into Tyler's waistband. The man unbuttoned his black skinny jeans and pushed them to the ground, then pulled a knife out of his pocket. He pushed the tip against Tyler's stomach, but not hard enough to cut him.

"You move and I'll stab you." He said, then started taking off Tyler's shoes and socks. Once he had done that, he took off Tyler's pants and tossed it all to the side.

Then he began to remove his own pants, keeping one hand with the knife pushed against Tyler's stomach.

*

Josh sat on his bed in the hotel room. He looked at the clock for what must have been the hundredth time.

Where the hell is Tyler? It's been 15 minutes...

He stood up and picked up his jacket.

I gotta go look for him.

*

Tyler sobbed as he felt the man pushing in and out of him. It fucking hurt and he wanted to throw up.

The man was talking to him, which was just making it worse.

"Fucking slut. That's right, you dirty little twink."

The man had pushed Tyler against the wall with his face against the bricks, and he was holding the knife against his back. Tyler had just begun to give up all hope of rescue and life, when he heard someone yelling.

Sudenly the man was being pulled away from him. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Tyler heard a fist connect with flesh, and the man was running away.

Josh.

"Oh, my God... Tyler, I- oh my God." Josh said, rushing over and squatting next to Tyler, who had pulled his knees to his chest and was sobbing.

"Fuck... uh, here, Tyler, here's your pants.. and your boxers, here, I'll uh, I'll look away. I won't watch you." Josh stammered, handing Tyler his clothes and turning his back.

Tyler pulled his clothes back on and stood weakly leaning against the wall. "Okay..." He said, and Josh turned around.

Tyler had never felt more humiliated in his life. He felt awful. He felt dirty and fucking used.

"We gotta call the police or something.." Josh said.

"No!" Tyler said, shaking. "We... no, we aren't doing that, I can't..."

Josh nodded. He reached his arm out and snaked it around Tyler's torso gently, so that he could lean against him.

Tyler jerked away, though, not wanting to be touched. Josh carefully took his hand, so he could at least feel like he was helping a little. Tyler flinched, but didn't pull away this time. Josh led him back to the room.

When they got back inside, Tyler let it all loose. He crumpled to the floor, and pulled his knees to his chest again. Josh squatted next to him. He wrapped his arms around Tyler's small frame. This time, Tyler let him.

"Tyler, I'm here... I'm not going to let anyone hurt you ever again." He said as calmly as he could to Tyler.

Tyler shook his head repeatedly, his hands shaking uncontrollably. "Josh... Josh... Josh..." He repeated.

Josh nodded and gently rubbed his back. "Yeah, I'm here, I'm here, Tyler. You're okay, I'm gonna make sure you're okay."

Tyler wrapped his thin arms around Josh, holding tightly to the larger boy's body.

Josh felt tears pricking behind his own eyes. He forced himself not to cry. I have to be strong. For Tyler.

Tyler was babbling now, talking uncontrollably. "He made me! He forced me... he didn't give me a choice... he had a knife... he told me I was asking for it. Was I asking for it?"

"You weren't asking for anything." Josh soothed. He could feel Tyler shaking harder with every passing second.

"I'd never even had sex before! He... h- he stole it!" Tyler leaned all of his weight against Josh. Josh couldn't keep back the tears then. He let them fall from his eyes. He held Tyler tighter, his cheek pressed against the top of the smaller boy's head.

Tyler was twitching now, and his arm shot out to point at his suitcase. "My... p-panic- medicine!" He yelled, his finger trembling as he pointed.

Josh quickly moved over to his best friend's bag, digging through it for the small case he knew Tyler carried with all of his medications in it. When he found it be pulled it out and sat back next to Tyler on the floor.

"Which one?" He asked. Tyler pointed at a bottle. "Blue c- cap.." He stuttered. Josh grabbed the bottle and opened the mini fridge in search of a drink.

Shit... that's why Tyler went out...

He went back to Tyler and sat down. "We don't have anything to drink, here take these... just try to swallow them." He said, putting two of the pills into Tyler's mouth. Tyler nodded and swallowed twice. He started taking deep breaths, and Josh could make out soft counting.

Tyler began to stop shaking so violently, and his breathing slowed back to normal. He let himself fall agaisnt Josh again, who wrapped him in his arms again.

"Come on, let's get some rest..." Josh said, standing up and pulling Tyler up gently. He put one arm around Tyler's shoulders and one under his knees and lift him off of the floor. Tyler tensed, but then relaxed into Josh. Josh carried him to his bed, lying him down gently. Josh lied next to him.

Tyler turned to face Josh and began talking to him softly. "I'm sorry, Josh.." He said.

Josh looked confused at him. "For what, baby boy?" Then he blushed at the name that had slipped out, but Tyler didn't seem to mind.

"I'm sorry that you had to see me... like that. Like this."

Josh shook his head. "No, Tyler, none of this is on you. It's fine, it's all fine."

Tyler scooted closer to Josh and Josh wrapped his arms around him gently. "Thank you." He whispered to Josh, who responded with a sad smile.