𝔻𝕖𝕒𝕟 𝕎𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣: 𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕆𝕟𝕖 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕤

𝒯ℴℴ 𝒮𝓌ℯℯ𝓉 pt 1

"I fucking hated her" I fucking loved her. "She was annoying, needy, and bad at sex anyway." She was sweet, lovable, and was the only girl that I have thought about since we have done it. "Besides, guys, she was just a little high school fling, it was ages ago, we are like 27 now! Can we stop bringing her up all the time. I used her! She was my first love, I never constantly think about her every night while I try to sleep, I want to talk about her everyday, all night long. I never used her, I cheated on her never realizing how much I loved her. "Dean stop lying to yourself!" Brad chimed in. "Yeah Dean, we all know you loved her, that's why we always bring her up to fuck with you!" The boys laughed. "Besides we know you are over her anyway!" Sam threw in.
"Yeah, you guys are right. I'm sure she is living her life."
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Months had passed since that conversation. I was somewhere in Louisiana now my eyes looking into her eyes. Her husband had just been killed.
Her body no longer athletic, just scrawny with a touch of fat. Her once happy,glossy eyes now gloomy, sad, and traumatized. Her once blinding smile now never staying long enough to enjoy it. Her husband a fat, alcoholic, blue-collar man posted in a frame on their fireplace's mantle.
"The police said he killed himself." Her loud voice was now softened and gentle.
"Do you believe that?" I asked.
y/n's pov
"No." You shrugged your shoulders. You were nervous. 1- for Dean being here and how sexy he looked and 2- that he would get mad at you at any second. You were trying to hide the bruises and the healing burn holes and cuts.
"Well I'm going to solve what happened and bring you closure for your husband, Y/N. I think it was something paranormal." Dean reassured, his voice gentle, like it was back then. You never fully understood his knowledge on the paranormal but you knew he was smart in that field so you always supported him. He got up to leave your home. There was something between you two, but then again it could've just been a way to feel like an escape from Dan. You wanted to stop him but you couldn't work up the courage. You were screaming for help in silent constantly. Before the door shut, you spoke.
"Dean?"
"Yes?" He turned to face you door still in his hand.
"Do you have a place to stay?" You regretted asking as soon as the words left your mouth.
"Yes, I'm staying at a hotel close to town." He responded.
"O-kay." There was a long pause before you asked a balsy question. "Can I stay with you?" Your eyes started to get hot, a familiar feeling you didn't enjoy. Dean looked like he was about to say no.
"It's okay Dean. I'm just lonely here. I don't want to stay here."
"Yes you can, Y/N. If you do something thing dumb though, I will kick you out and make you stay here." He replied. His words harsh but still gentle. It was so long since you had been spoken to like a human.
The backpack and duffle bag you sat in the car was both slightly broken down and once your school bag and cheer/gym bag. You didn't have many possessions anyway but one that was dear to you was your diary and a Polaroid of Dean and you. You weren't gonna lie, sometimes when Dan worked late or went to work early in the morning, you would look at the picture of Dean and imagine all the things you two once did till your legs shook and you were so sweaty you had to take a shower. You didn't want to think of it as cheating and always felt guilty after but it was an escape from the hell you were going to face once your husband was home. Dean will always be your favorite escape.
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The boys had alcohol in the hotel room. They were popping open beers asking me little questions about your husband here and there
"Can I have one?" You asked for a beer.
"Sure" Sam threw you a beer. You did not like beer and giving the circumstances, you knew this wouldn't be your only alcoholic drink of the night.
Sam eventually left to go to the bar and maybe a club to ask anyone if they knew anything of maybe find of history inside the town. Your beer turned into some whiskey that Dean offered you. You became more hyper and happier. Your vision becoming- different and becoming more talkative. The person you used to be sober. Deans eyes were on you a lot and you two were talking about your dead husband!
"Did you hate him?" Dean asked.
"Sometimes, but I didn't kill him if that's what ur implying!" You weren't mad at him you felt like your old self again you were happy.
"Since we are alone I want give you an apology." Dean started. "I'm sorry for cheating on you. I didn't realize how much I needed you more than you needed me. I know you heard the mean things I said about you and spread about you afterwards. I loved you, Y/N. I had no clue what the hell I was doing. You were the only one I really wanted." Dean said.
"Oh Dean it's all good. Ya know things happen. We were young too. I was never really mad I just was always wondering what I did wrong."
"You did nothing wrong, it was all me." Dean confessed.
"Dean, going in the relationship, I knew what kind of guy you were. I always noticed how you looked at me though. It was different then and it's different now. But, these things are in the past now, Dean. We just have to enjoy them now." You wanted him badly.
You got up and walked over to Dean and straddled him. The alcohol smell mixing in the air. Dean almost pushed you off but instead held your sides so you would be stable on him.
"You wanna hear a little secret?" You said.
"Yes." Dean said looking in your eyes.
"When Dan worked late or really really early in the morning, I would pull out my diary that had a picture of you in it and I would masturbate to it." You were borderline drunk but still very much aware. You were losing control of the thoughts you didn't want to be shared being spoken though.
"Y/N" Dean chuckled a bit. "Why would you tell me that."
"Because." You shrugged your shoulders.
Dean's hands started trailing up your shirt. You stopped his hands quickly.
" I don't want my shirt off Dean." Your heart was beating fast. You knew your body wasn't what it once was and it definitely wasn't beautiful anymore.
"Y/N is this my payback for 10 years ago?" Dean was joking.
"No Dean. I'm sorry I led you on I was just drunk." You wanted to tell and show him what Dan did. You trusted Dean but it was an intimate moment and  that's something you haven't had with Dean for a whole decade.
"Is something wrong?" Dean asked in a serious tone.
"No." You shook your head while playing with your nails.
"Y/N? Did somet-"
"No! Can we talk about this later. I want to go to bed." Tears formed in your eyes, making Dean feel worse.
"Sure, Y/N." Dean went back to his quiet tone.
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Words:1286
Date: 4/30/2024