The Diary Of a Troubled Teen

PREFACE

This book has taken years and years of consideration and I think after all of those years of hiding what I went through and also what others went through while attending one of these "therapeutic" boarding schools, it is time for whoever wants to hear the truth, hear nothing but the truth. What I went through was very real, traumatic, painful, but it made me the person I am today.

Before I was sent away I had been going through mental health issues and also rebelling against my parents since I was about 11. I was adopted at birth and never knew my birth mom and siblings. My adopted parents never abused me in any way shape or form but I held resentment towards them when I started to go through puberty. I wanted answers and I also wanted to know my birth family even though my birth family really did not want anything from me and that hurt me deep down, that is why I started to rebel. My parents were strict but at the age I was they had every right to be. I started to sneak out of the house late at night, drink, smoke, and hook up with guys. I had struggled with an eating disorder/self harm that ended me up in the mental hospital at the ripe age of 12 and then found out I had ADHD/clinical depression which ended up in another hospitalization at 13 after a suicide attempt. I would also go through these manic phases where I would scream, break things, cuss out my parents, threaten my life, and not eat when the slightest thing would set me off. All these behaviors ended me up at Heritage (the boarding school).

When I was 13 years old my family and I went on our other yearly trip to California to visit my extended family that lives there. I thought it was a normal family trip until the last day when my parents informed me that I would not be going home with them. I remember being confused because they had brought up the idea of this "school" in which I did tour prior to going but the tour was nothing like I expected. I was leaning more towards the other option which was a private school back home in Georgia. They had made up their mind to say the least. I was angry. So angry. I didn't even get to say goodbye to my best friend or my other friends from back home. I cried the whole plane ride from California to Salt Lake City Utah. The only hope I had was that I would still get my phone at least once a week and that I would be able to talk to whoever I wanted... at least that is what my parents told me. The drive to Heritage from the Salt Lake City airport was around an hour and a half because the school was based in Provo. The whole car ride I cried and bitched at my parents for sending me away. When we arrived at the school I noticed that there was a chain fence around most of the perimeter of the campus but strangely no gate to get in or out. Dumbasses. We parked the rental car and walked to one of the main buildings where they take you in and meet your therapist that you will have while you are there. I was so emotional the ride there that when I finally walked through those doors my whole demeanor changed to 'well, this is it.' I met my therapist Jessie and my parents talked to her for a few minutes before we all had to say goodbye. That goodbye was probably the hardest goodbye I ever had to do. My mom started bawling (my mom never cries) and of course my dad did but he has always been the more emotional parent. I couldn't cry anymore, I simply walked away.

They took me to the nursing building where they had to strip search me which I still remember after 7 years being so incredibly uncomfortable because there were male staff in the room and the only thing covering me was a curtain. They took my vitals and also did a physical on me in which they did touch me. Yes, even down there. After they were done with me I was assigned to my "Buddy" which was an older girl named Marissa. She was the first person I ever met at Heritage, she wore purple leggings, a tye-dye shirt, glasses, and fun jewelry. She and my "House mom" took me back to the home where I would be living while I was there. Each house had a different name and ours was named Sequoia. It was a basement home so we had to take stairs to get there from the outside. I met the girls and there were about 10 that lived in the house and one girl really stood out because she was about a year older than me and she came up to me instantly, her name was Sofia. She was my first best friend there.