TNN: A Collection Of Short Stories

disorder (mialotte)

Prompt/explanation/AN: based off a conversation that I had with a friend the other day that I can't seem to shake. A lot of Mia's thoughts within the whole book are actually mine and are based on how I think. This is what keeps me wanting to write
I struggled massively while writing this, but reading back on this, reflecting, really helped me. I find it really beneficial to twist my own life experiences and write about them.

And I think this idea actually ties in quite nicely with the Mia hating Carly concept and the mention of Reece has had to deal with eating disorders in the past, I know char confirmed it was Reece himself, but I'm going to put a spin on it so it's Mia that's been struggling.

I know this is a depressing way to open a chapter but if anyone needs any support or advice to help them with recovery I know some hotlines that I would be happy to share. Don't be afraid to DM me.

TW eating disorder.

Charlotte's pov: (6 months before the story starts)

"Wow Reece you are really good with handling Carly" I tell him truthfully over the phone.
"Yeah well I've had some experience handling this sort of thing in the past." He responds.
"Oh uh wow" I say wracking my brain for who he might be talking about. "I'm gonna let you go back to enjoying your holiday, thank you again"

Charlotte's pov: (present day)
Something's been going on with Mia this past few weeks. She's a lot more closed off and I can kind of tell that she wants to talk about it. But she's been staying late at work and then coming back to mine for dinner and she just kind of moves her food around.

She's been so lethargic aswell, basically just crashing as soon as her head hits the pillow.

My kids are with their father tonight, so maybe she will open up and talk about whatever is going on.

I see her walking down the hall way.
"Hey love so I checked and we should be out of here pretty early tonight" I tell her.
"I'm sorry sweetheart but-" she says but I cut her off.
"I spoke to Marjorie and she said you've caught up on all the work due for the next few weeks, so why not take the night off? We can go to mine and I'll make us some dinner and maybe we can just talk" I offer but something in her face changes.
"Y-yeah sweetheart that would be nice" wow that was weird. She's usually so confident and assured with what she's saying.

The end of our shifts quickly roll around and me and Mia go to my car. The drive back to mine feels awkward. There's no conversation, she's just looking out of the window. There's something she's not telling me.

We get to mine and head inside.

Mia's pov:
She knows something's wrong. I don't have the energy to explain it all but I might have to. There is a throbbing pain at the back of my head that is ricochetting down my spine.

We both sit on the couch in her living room, she's staring at me with questioning eyes.
"Mia what's going on?" She whispers. I can't exactly lie straight to her face.
"I had an argument with roger a couple weeks back and it's just been playing on my mind" I tell her circling the truth.
"Oh my god, love why didn't you say anything" she says picking up my hand and playing with it.
"Because" I start "he brought up stuff, from when I was a teenager" I whisper.
"Oh" she answers looking a bit puzzled.
"He told me how I've changed, physically and emotionally, how I was so much quieter as a kid." I explain
"He was upset with me because of what I told autumn and Reece when I was fired, and he brought up how he paid for me to go to rehab for my"
"Rehab? For what Mia" she asks toying with my fingers.

"Char, I have an eating disorder." I tell her. Her face drops with sympathy.

"It started over 20 years ago, when roger first got his claws into me. When all that with Reece and autumn was going on, I had noone I could talk to. I was practically Rogers puppet and I had no control with my own life" I continued "I craved that sense of control, so I started restricting what I could eat and how much I could eat, It was something I could just have in the background to focus on, when roger would continually manipulate me. It took about 8 months for Reece to realise this change, but when he did he was a dream. He practically begged roger to help me, get me into a programme so I could recover. He was so supportive and he really helped me find myself again." I tell her.

"That's why he's so good with Carly" she whispers in realisation.
"I owe him my life, I would be dead right now if it wasn't for Reece" I say snuggling into her side.
"But roger still likes to bring up how he was the one who paid for the programme and the therapy, when he's not happy with me. I guess I just slipped back into old habits when he brought it up. I didn't like how it made me feel emotionally so i-" I cut myself off feeling my eyes sting, she strokes my hair. "God I feel like a teenager again" I say tears falling down my face.
"Does Reece know what's going on right now" she asks me.
"I have no idea, probably, I don't want to tell him the whole story. He's changed so much since then" I tell her.
"Mia" she says looking me in the eye "you've done the hardest part now, admitting what went wrong these last few weeks." She says lightly kissing me

"Do you want to have some dinner?" She asks. I silently nod.
She stands up and heads to the kitchen, instead of cooking a real meal, she makes a couple of sandwiches and collects some snacks. She sits back on the couch and places the food on the coffee table.

"I'm so proud of you Mia" she tells me and I smile taking a bite of one of the sandwiches.

An: so yeah. I found this really hard to write. The comments about control that Mia makes are how I view my eating disorder, I just found it quite difficult to like spin (??) the idea into a Mialotte comfort fic.

I've been in recovery for about 4 years, I still have bad days. There will be days where I am so emotional and lost that I resort back to the behaviours that I've grown familiar with. But I am so lucky to have found people in my life who I can talk to, who encourage me to get back on track.

I'm like really nervous to post this and expose this part of my life. Like I feel like I'm just telling complete strangers about my problems when most of my close friends have absolutely no idea.