✓ fatal || yang jungwon

000

The rain became heavier. Ji lowered her head to watch the stormy waves hit stones beneath.

This really is it, she thought.

She looked to the side again, feeling herself trip over the wet pavement, her legs giving in from overwhelm and emotions.
People were looking at her. But they walked past as though nothing happened, only pitying the girl on the ground without any action. They were in a hurry, quickly walking to find shelter from the heavy rain. Maybe they were on their way to see the shooting stars, Ji remembered. They had better things to do.

In this moment, there was nothing she desired more than to stand up and leave because she knew how ridiculous she looked crying on the ground.
Not brave enough to jump and at the same time not brave enough to face her problems. She was a coward. She was hesitating.

Ji finally managed to regain her ability to move her head, watching the streets become empty again. She looked up to the sky to see it empty too. No stars.
Everything was empty.

The girl grabbed her phone, texting him various things, things that came to her mind now that her life was flashing before her eyes.

Jungwon might be home now.
She will definitely miss him. Ji blinked against the rain hitting her face.
Maybe he noticed her absence. He will be waiting. Or— Her heart grew cold at the thought, afraid that he would actually try and find her.
And worse, maybe even stop her.

While, there are three things she remembered.

The first was a core memory she had with her sister on Ji's sixth birthday. She can't remember where exactly, all she remembers is a rainy day and eight candles being lit. Her parents mistook her age for her sister's. Ji didn't say anything. She didn't correct them. Her sister didn't either, enjoying the attention she was receiving too much. Maybe it was because people always mistook them to be twins.
Ji wore a dress, the same one her older sister had on. Back then, she described it as a 'princess-like dress with sparkly extras'.
But today, man, all she could think of is how ridiculous she looked. Not her sister, but her. The dark red lipstick was smudged and she missed two of her front teeth. She looked ugly. And her sister, Eunha looked beautiful. But it was Ji's birthday.
The pink dress' color was too much, Ji noted. She remembered blaming the camera for the unsettling color and the bad make up she had on, compared to her sister.
But on the picture the two of them smiled. They smiled genuinely. They were happy.

And now they were finally going to be together again.

Then there was, of course, Jungwon's face. She didn't remember anything else, all she saw in front of her eyes were his lips, eyes, nose and lips. His eyelashes and smile. She was imagining things again, making her departure more painful than it is.
Remembering all their happy moments together would have taken too much of her time. Time that she didn't have.

And at the end of the day it was all an illusion after all. It was all in her head.

She imagined how he would call her name, reach out to her.
Her stomach dropped.
She was going to leave him.
She was going to hurt him.
He will be worried.

The thought of his pained face and how much he will resent her, sent her head spinning with fear.
And that's why she never remembered the third thing she thought, before mustering up all her courage to use the last bit of her strength and climb over the bridge's railing. All while ignoring the rain and the thunder and her pounding heart that finally screamed for life.

Why is it she only feels this alive the moment before she dies?

The sensation of flying through the air, feeling coldness of air following with the coldness of water was the last she noticed before everything became dark. Before all her thoughts vanished.
Before water consumed her everything, every strand of her hair and all of her fingertips, her scarred arms, her messed up hair, her tired eyes, her crooked smile that only showed when Jungwon was around, just everything.
She was dying. When was she not? Finally, she will rest.

Weird. She told herself to only think of Jungwon in the last moments before her death. To not waste any more of her thoughts on anything else that wasn't him. It's crazy how life betrays her even in her last moments.

Before her body hit the stone, she opened her eyes.

A shooting star, small but bright ran past her vision despite the heavy rain and stormy cloud.
It was meant for her and only her. Today's night will be hers. A wish left her lips.

And at this exact moment, she knew...She will finally be okay for once.

Jungwon sat on the edge of the hospital bed, the soft, muted light of dawn creeping through the curtains. The room was still, the silence almost tangible. He clutched the only picture he had of her, her smile frozen in time, and his thumb traced the outline of her face.

Three broken rips, fractured arm and broken right leg. Lots of abrasions, concussion, liver lacerations, skull fracture. The whole package.
Jungwon's eyes flew over the diagnosis, trying to make himself feel something. But he was unable to do so. Not even pain.
It really happened. His worst nightmare became reality. And there was nothing he could do, tied to his bed and tied to their fate.

The memories flooded back against his will: the way her laughter filled his heart, the peaceful evenings as they looked outside the window in silence, the  coldness of her hand in his. He missed her touch, her home. He missed everything associated with her. He could almost hear her voice, feel her presence. But it was just an echo, a cruel trick of his longing mind.

His chest tightened, the familiar ache of grief wrapping around his heart. Is this how dying felt like? It had been a week since that fateful day, yet the wound felt as if it had just happened. He closed his eyes.

"I love you, Jungwon. I do. I really do."

"I do too."

"You don't believe me."

"I do."

"Life will bring us together again. We will marry, then. With lots of flowers. My sister will be my bridesmaid."

"One day."

"Someday."

the end.

(a/n: after whole two years i finally finished this book like is this real?? i'm still deliberating over writing a spin-off or just anything because my heart can't move on from this book like i can't believe it wtf
thank you everyone for reading, voting and commenting i love you all🫶🏻 may we meet in another future book of mine :))

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'·. please vote and comment if you enjoyed reading this chapter<3 ★°*ﾟ