Charmer ||Lee Minho / LeeKnow||

Chapter 7 ‼️ TW

||TW - panic attacks, anxiety, critical self talk||

"Please can you stop watching me pull on my jeans, Rian and look for my shoes? I have no idea what you did with them and the poor man outside has a home to go to you know".

He was still chuckling to himself, but he obeyed and started to check under the seats for my shoes. It had been hard enough trying to find my underwear, especially as we had both been laughing so much and he had no memory of what he had done with them after taking them off me.

His head popped back up and he passed me one of my shoes. "While I fucking love those jeans on you Lex, I kind of hate them right now too" he pouted.

I just rolled my eyes and slipped my foot into my shoe, as he grabbed the other one. He waited until I was done with the first before offering me the last item I needed to leave the car. As I went to reach for it, he pulled his hand back and stuck his tongue out at me. I reached for it again and he moved it away once more. I gave up and just sat and watched him, knowing he would give up eventually.

"Spoil sport" Rian said with a pout. He passed me the shoe, then flicked the end of my nose.

I was ready to throw the damn shoe back at him, but then he leant over and kissed the end of my nose, before quickly moving back out of my reach, just in case he got smacked. Smart.

"You're a menace. And a prick" I said, a smile spreading over my lips as I finally got my shoe on. "Now let's go."

He laughed again before turning to open his door and then slid out. He spun around to face me and extended his hand to me to help me out of the car.

Al leant against the bonnet of the car with his back to us, but glanced over his shoulder when he heard the door close. He stood and turned, glancing at Rian first, then his eyes slid over in my direction. He seemed to complete a quick assessment of my appearance, then he looked away and back to Rian quickly. Wow, how disheveled do I look? I thought, my hand automatically reaching up to smooth down my hair, the one thing I'd forgotten to do before facing him.

"Thanks for taking the boys bowling Al, it's much appreciated. They could use a night out for once. Sorry for keeping you waiting. Lexi here got a little overexcited, so we had to wait until she had calmed down before getting out. Isn't that right, Lexi?" Rian said, glancing over at me and squeezing my hand. I glared at him and the corner of his lips twitched upward.. Menace.

"Well I hope you are feeling better now, Miss. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening. Mr Rian, I have told the boys to contact Mr Park if they need anything further this evening. If it's ok with you, I'll head home now, unless you need anything more?" Al Asked.

"No. no. You are free to leave Al. Enjoy your evening. And please, I've told you many times, you can call me Ri. I prefer it"

"Okay, I will thank you Mr......Ri. Goodnight" Al smiled at Rian and myself, before turning to open the door and climb inside.

Rian tugged on my hand. "Shall we?" he asked, his head nodding in the direction of the elevator.

As we walked, I watched as the door to the parking garage opened and Al drove out. The door soon started to close on its own. I looked around and noted there were still a couple of cars parked in here. It's bigger than I thought, but then, what was I expecting? I wasn't really paying much attention earlier. I guess I was about to find out how big this place really was. And I suppose it has to be to house all of these men in the same place all at once.

I turned my attention back to Rian. As we approached the doors, I started to feel a little nervous again at the thought of being in the home he shared with his friends and teammates. What if they hadn't all left to go bowling and one or more of them were still up there? How would they feel about him bringing me back here to their private space? Was I certain I wanted to go up there?

I realised I had subconsciously slowed down and dropped back a little, though Rian still held my hand in his. He didn't seem to realise until he ended up tugging me along for a couple of steps. He looked back at me, then down at his hand still holding mine.Oh no, sweaty hands.

"Everything okay?" he asked, looking at me. He followed my gaze, looking from me, to the elevator and back again. "Are you scared of elevators? We can take the stairs instead"

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine with the elevator. It's just...did everyone leave or is someone still upstairs?" I asked quietly, not quite daring to reach his eyes again.

"Oooh, want me all to yourself do you? Well your wish has been granted. I kicked everyone out earlier and convinced them a night of bowling, karaoke and a games arcade was just what they needed. To be fair, they've been talking about it for a little while now, so it wasn't that hard. And I also made sure to send Dex a text promising to buy him all the cheesecake he wants if he keeps the guys out for as long as humanly possible" He grinned.

"Oh, okay then" I replied, a little weakly, still not managing to meet his gaze. Stop it, Lexi, don't do this again, Stop overthinking this. Just breathe, calm down and just go with it. It's fine.

".....you okay? .....Lex?" Rians voice punctured through my thoughts. He dipped down a little to meet my eyes, drawing my gaze back up to his face. "What's going on? You're nervous about....going inside? I promise you, nobody else is up there, it'll just be us. Well, the cats too but...." His voice trailed off. A couple of seconds passed in silence. He blinked. Then blinked again quickly. Uh-oh. That's his tell, the clear giveaway that he is processing something inside that beautiful head of his. "Is it that you don't want to be alone with me? We don't have to go in if you don't want to, we could....". More quick blinks. "Or is it... Wait, I think I get it now. Ah, it makes sense to me now. You started to panic earlier after I mentioned coming back here, thinking the boys would be home, right? And then again when I asked Dex to meet us, right? That's it, that's got to be it. Shit Lex. I'm sorry, I didn't think. I should have asked you if you would be ok with coming here first. Damn it, I should know better than this, it's happened before with..." He stopped talking at 50 miles an hour and reached for my other hand, holding them both lightly. I forced myself to look at him and saw a mix of confusion, sadness and anger in his eyes.

I forced a small smile for him. I didn't want to see him angry at himself for thinking he had caused my panic attack earlier, when it was just my stupid brain and anxiety demons playing with me. "Stop, please, it's not your fault. If you hadn't already figured out by my unwelcomed dramatics this evening, for which I cannot apologise enough for, I get anxiety attacks sometimes. It usually happens when I've had a stressful or tiring day and today has been both of those things. Sometimes it even surprises me. I'm sorry you had to be part of that today Rian".

"Lex, don't apologise for suffering. It's not your fault" He said, his tone sounding a little defeated. His lips formed a tight line and he wouldn't meet my eyes. He started to pull away from me  Shit. What did I do?

"Can we go somewhere and talk about this, please?" I didn't particularly want to go here with him right now, or with anyone, but even I knew I couldn't just leave it like this. Not with him.

"I guess we can go to the garden" he said, letting go of my hands. He turned and walked away in the direction of the gate in the corner of the parking garage, without waiting to see if I was following.

** Spoiler alert for those who may give a crap - Chapter 8 will be a Rian POV**