The Boy That Stole My Heart Boyxboy

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Over the next month, things returned to some semblance of normal. Logan and I were back to our usual clowning around but something was different, not on his part but mine. I had already known I loved him but now it was starting to hurt. I was having urges to do things more and more often until it occupied most of my time. I wanted to touch him, hold him, kiss him, but I didn't just want to.... I wanted him to want me to.
Logan had his panties in a bunch about going to the movies to see a new rom-com with Jennifer Aniston and I relented despite wanting to see a new action movie because people held hands during love stories and that's just what I planned to do.We had held hands a few times but it had always been a necessity for comfort. I wanted to hold hands because well..... I wanted to.
It was Friday after school and we were coming off the field after a mock game where I, at some point, ended up batting against him and actually managed to get a piece of one but he got it to first before I could, outting me. This was one of those things that I would never hear the end of with him wearing that perverse smile and reminding every chance that he got.
"You should have seen your stupid face when he tagged you out! It was soooooo priceless."
I scowled. "Glad you find it so amusing."
He let out a funny giggle. "Oh, I definitely do!"
"Hey Logan!" A girls voice called as we passed the fence and I turned to see a pretty blonde girl standing in wait. "You were great out there!"
"Hey! Thanks Valerie." Logan said with a wave. "Oh, Valerie this is Ellis."
"Hi," she said in that bubbly girly way and it made me wonder if I was gay.
I smiled and her cheeks flushed. I can be pretty charming when I want to be. "Nice to meet you."
"What are you doing out here?" Logan asked, pushing his hair from his face and pinning it down with my ball cap.
A stupid giggle and some girly twisting. "I was hoping to catch you actually. I was wondering if you had plans tonight?"
My stomach sank and I felt a bit nauseous.
"Oh, yeah! We are going to the movies. You could come if you wanted."
"Really? That would be great!"
I didn't stop listening as much as I did stop hearing, words and laughter replaced with an awful high pitched ringing. I wondered briefly if this is what a broken heart sounded like.
"Ellie!" Logan said, snapping his fingers at me. "Earth to Ellie!"
"Sorry! What?"
"I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my friend Katie," Valerie said. "We could do like a double date thing."
I looked out at the baseball field, watching everyone running and laughing, wondering why I was incapable of doing that with anyone other than Logan. What would happen to me if I lost him? Was I healed of my past? Somehow I doubted it. More than likely it was just held at bay by a boy who acted as a medicine.
"No, I'm sorry." I said, finally looking at her. "It wouldn't be fair to either Katie nor myself. You two have a good time though. I'll see you tomorrow Logan."
I sat in my room feeling like an idiot, whispering "stupid,stupid, stupid." Over and over I checked my phone but other than the "wtf?" Text I had gotten from Logan right after I left, there was nothing. They were at the theater by now, probably in the line buying snacks... With Logan getting too many sweets and a drink that was too big.
With a loud huff, I sat on my bed, putting my head in my hands muttering at myself again and this is how Logan found me, throwing my door open with a bang, his hair dripping wet, clothes plastered to his body.
As lame as it sounds, I felt like I was going to cry. And then he pounced on me, slugging me repeatedly in my arm and back, his wrists too slippery to get a hold on and when I did he bit me.
"It's fucking raining outside!" He screamed as I tried to wrestle him down, knocking everything from my nightstand.
"What in the hell is going on in here!?" My mom cried as she reached the top of the stairs.
"Your son is an IDIOT!"
My mom, strangely enough, lifted her hands as if they were weighing something and then turned to leave offering no help at all.
Once he tired himself out, I continued to hold him, the water from his clothes soaking into mine. "What the hell?"
"Yeah," he countered, attempting to struggle again. "What the hell?"
"Did something happen with Valerie?" I asked, more confused than ever.
He was silent for a minute before sinking his teeth into my hand again and jumping to his feet , spinning to face me. "Yeah! It did.
Logan kicked my wastebasket over in a fit of rage and started to strip until he wore nothing but a soggy goodnite, walking to my dresser and leaving a trail of wet clothes behind him. I felt my face flush as he kicked off the diaper, and stood bare bottomed, cheeks pink and smooth, digging through my clothes until he found an old pair of sweat pants he could tie to fit him and a Green Bay Packers night shirt he liked to wear when he stayed over.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked carefully.
"What did you mean?" He asked, looking at me with those piercing eyes of his. "It wouldn't be fair. What does that mean Ellie?"
I shifted uncomfortably. "It wouldn't be fair...."
"Because!?"
I couldn't say it. I know it was cowardice but... I didn't want to push him away. Nothing scared me more than loosing him.
"Valerie thinks it's because you are in love with me."
I.... Might throw up.
"And she said that she knows how important you are to me and that I owe it to you to give your feelings serious consideration, that I needed to figure out how I felt about you before me and her could determine what kind of relationship we were going to have."
"I understand," I choked out, trying to figure out how to fix this, knowing that loosing him might kill me.
"And I told her that we didn't have to determine what kind of relationship we were going to have, that me and her would never be more than friends because.... I'm in love with you too, you idiot."