Before Us

Meeting at the gas station

》It will pass, Maddie. Believe me! At some point you will be able to open your heart to someone else. Even if it seems hopeless to you right now.《
Jess says while making me a hot chocolate. She really is my best friend. She helped me choose my dress for the first date. She gossiped with me and helped me when I was stuck. But now it's different. I'm different now. How can I get over him when he was everything I cared about? Everything I was. We were a team, but now we're seperated. Forever.

》But I don't want it to pass! I want him to come back, hug me and tell me that it was all just a joke. You don't understand that! You've never loved anyone in your entire life!《
I shouldn't have said that. She looks at me indifferently, takes her bag and slams the door behind her. I want to run after her, but that would only make the whole situation worse. Now I'm all alone. Just my thoughts and me. I pick up some tissues from the floor and find something completely different. A photo of Jess and me dancing at a school performance. I immediately regret everything I said. I put on my pink rain jacket and unicorn slippers, look in the mirror and leave the apartment. It's drizzling outside and it's already dark.

There are only a few cars driving and I look around stressed. Where could she have run to? Maybe in the park next door? We always practiced there after school. I run across the street as fast as I can and search the area for her. I even look in the sandbox for her. Pretty strange when I think about it.

I call her, but she doesn't answer. Maybe she wants to be alone. I could at least understand that. I'll give her time and maybe sooner or later she'll forgive me. It's only when my stomach starts growling really loudly that I notice how hungry I am. I hadn't eaten properly for almost a week. I look at my phone. It's 11pm and I only have 2% battery left.

No restaurant near me will be open. Maybe the gas station has some decent food. At the bus stop, I get on the first bus that comes along. I travel alone for a while until an elderly man gets on and gets off again one stop later. Outside, it looks just as gloomy and deserted as it feels in my heart.

When I arrive at the gas station, it's already pouring with rain and I take refuge in the building. An employee greets me and I look around. It seems as if I'm alone. Or am I? In the farthest corner, someone is rustling bags of chips. I don't concentrate on it any further and go to the shelf labeled "baked goods." I can't decide between cinnamon rolls and waffles. I hear someone walk by behind me.
》Take the cinnamon rolls.《 says a male voice calmly. I smile, but don't turn around, just wait until he's gone again.

Peter would have taken the cinnamon rolls too. It's kind of strange. I thought I'd never be able to smile again without him. But the thought of him still gives me a feeling of security that I never want to forget.