My heart lies with him

One

Another year of partying, cramming for exams, dating girls. Typical mundane college things. Things once I would have cared more for, but recently not so much. Glancing at the time on my phone screen, I read the glowing digits. 11:00 PM. Each passing minute is a countdown to the inevitable, a reminder of what awaited me. The weight of expectations pressed heavily upon me, gnawing at my mind for weeks now. I examine the yard below, about twenty or so pack members. My gaze stops at the sight of my siblings, always attached at the hip with their mates. They look so happy, full of love and admiration for one another.. I take another swig of my beer, drowning out the thought. I should be happy for them. Finding your mate, your soulmate is a blessing, after all. But my wolf whines beneath the surface. We both know our mate will never be what we truly want. We know our mate will be perfect. Absolutely perfect in every way but one.

"Hunter, buddy! Why are you up here and not finding a lovely piece of ass at the party? It's your birthday after all." My best friend, Dallas, says as he barges into my room,stumbling over to me. He tackles me into a 'bro' hug and plucks a sloppy kiss on my cheek, one arm slung around my broad shoulders. He absolutely reeks of beer.

"What better way to find someone than with the best vantage point a guy could want?" I countered, putting on a sly grin, suppressing my previous train of thought.  "I can see perfectly from up here" and I wasn't lying, I had a clear view of the entire backyard. The fire pit in the center, built into the small mound, with seats littered all around. Just above the small mound, our pack's forest lies beyond. It stretches on for miles and miles, perfect for nightly runs.

Dallas laughs, leaning onto me with all his weight  "I should've known you'd have a good reason. So, who's on the menu tonight? Alice is looking insanely hot" his eyes darken while glancing her way. No doubt enjoying this wholeheartedly. If only I could feel the same.

"You know I've had my eye on Lucy for a while now. I think she's going to be my mate'' I nod my head towards the right of the fire pit, seeing her sitting with a few other pack members.

"What are you waiting for then? Go get her tiger!" Dallas winks, patting my shoulder before he starts heading back to the party.

I sigh as he leaves, another moment of peace before the inevitable. My whole life I have watched family and friends alike find love and unfathomable happiness with their soulmate. The one person destined to bring them love and joy. Why couldn't it have been easy? Why did mother nature decide to curse me? I wonder what I must have done in a previous life to have her wrath directed at me.
Taking a glimpse into the mirror on the back of my bedroom door, looking over my appearance to ensure I look somewhat presentable before heading down to rejoin the party. I brush my hand through my hair, a mop of platinum blond hair, pushing down some loose curls.

I shake my head and inhale deeply, I'm putting off the inevitable. It's time.

My legs are dragging slightly as I walk down the steps towards the backyard, each step feeling heavier than the last. I can hear laughter, bottles clinking, bouts of laughter and drunkenness. Any other night, I'd be joining in, soaking up the evening. But tonight is different. Once the clock strikes midnight, my wolf will be able to sense my mate, the pull of our bond is stronger once we reach the age of maturity. I have a good feeling it's Lucy. My dreams have been showing me images, very briefly, of us together, near a waterfall. Father said dreams were normal. They helped show us where our mates would be, so we could find them. He said they didn't usually show a person, but as we had grown up together he said it wasn't uncommon.

The alcohol numbs my mind to the thoughts going on, causing my usually restless thoughts to settle enough for me to ignore them. It suppresses the sick feeling at the bottom of my stomach as I wander closer to my goal for the evening. It's just Lucy, you've known her for years. I convince myself, each step I take I can feel the blood pumping in my ears. My heart flutters slightly. I try to calm myself, deep breath.