Made For Sin

Bad First Day

I am enough
I am beautiful
I am worth it
I am confident

I've been repeating these  words for the past 10 minutes in my mirror, I'm so nervous I could call the office and tell them I am not coming in ever again. But I need the job

I land back on my beg again, head in my hands and I steady my breathing, I'm trying to get a hold of myself, I've been practicing this ever since I got the call that I've been appointed as the new personal assistant, I did some shopping, got my hair and nails done just for this job, and now I'm suddenly panicking

I was on the call for a whole 30 minutes talking to Bella, and she gave me all the assurance I needed. Then why is my hands and feet so sweaty from nervousness.

As I sit down trying to set my nerves right, I completely forget about the time. As soon as I come to my senses that I may be late for my first time at a new  job , I rush to look for my heels and put them on, I grab my bag and dump everything I deem necessary inside.

I check the available rides around, and they'll all take more than 10 minutes to get here, I book the nearest cab, and I rush to the kitchen to get some coffee and bread. I'm eating like a pig, trying to get everything done within minutes. It helps me partially forget that I'm nervous.

My phone pings on the drivers arrival, I check myself for the last time in the mirror before I rush out and into the cab

There's a lot of traffic, it took all in me not to get out of the car and start running, I'm already 10 minutes late and I'm halfway across the road, I feel tears gather in my eyes, this is really not good for a first day and for a first impression, or is the universe trying to tell me not to work there?

25 minutes later, my cab parks around the company, I rummage through my bag, and I hiss, ow no, ow no, I'm panicking internally,  I forgot my purse! Just great. I ask the cab driver if I could send it through my bank account and he agrees, I try using my bank app, are the heavens trying to punish me, there's this annoying message that the bank is under whatever bullshit, I need money, who cares about what the bank is undergoing.

I'm screaming silently in my head, I dial Bella's number. It rings to the end, but there's no answer, I begin to sweat, and the cab driver is looking at me very impatiently.

I'm stuck, and my breath begins to slow down. This is really not a good time to have a panic attack, I'm trying so hard to relax, I have no one else to call, this is what happens when you have no friends, I'm being scolded by my sub consciousness . Apart from Bella, there's no one I could call on this plenty of contacts stored on my phone

"I have a job to do ma'am, can you give me my money so that I go"
"Im so sorry, I have no money on me, and my bank is messing up, I ..."

"You didn't have money, and you decided to order a ride." his voice his raised higher
"Do not put it like that, I did have money, but I forgot to grab it,"
"What the hell am I supposed to do with that piece of information?" At this point, he's screaming, and it's drawing attention towards the car. Lord Jesus, please, if this is the revenge for all the sins I have committed, please punish me later, at least not today.

"Can you send me back home so that I take the money?"
"Do I look stupid to you, what shows that you have money, start looking for ways to pay me before I take you to the police station" I close my eyes tightly and begin to think about all the possible ways I could solve this problem.

I'm startled by the knock from my window, I look to the side to find a man. He motions me to roll the window down, and I do

He's dressed very professionally, like the owner of a company or something, and I know it's not time for me to be tripping about looks, but damn! The man is gorgeous

"Is there a problem" he asks so calmly, I don't even get to answer him because the cab driver is already ratting me out to him, the stranger  asks for the charge and then without hesitation, he pays the driver.

He opens my side of the door to let me out, "Thank you so much, I almost cried in there,"
He smiles, "I know how being stranded feels."

"You're a life saver, I am Saraphina, by the way,"
"I'm Josh." he takes my hand in his and kisses it

"Ermm, could you give me your account details so that I send the money to you when my bank app starts working?"

"No, I did it out of the goodness of my heart,"
"No, I insist I have to pay you back,"
"Well, you could, but in another way," I see the smirk on his face, "don't tell me you want to ..."

He starts laughing, "Get your mind out of the gutters phina, in as much as I would want you in my bed, it's just not yet. I was talking about you going on a date with me, as a form of payment. " he has me blushing, "mmhm, I could do that"

"Your number then." I input my number in his phone, and he does the same in mine.
"Where are you heading to?" As soon as he asks, realization dawns on me, I AM SO DEAD, I check my watch,  I am 40 minutes late now.

"I'm so sorry, but I've got to run. See you later, Josh." I wonder if he heard my last words because I'm literally sprinting to the elevator.

I count the minutes until I get to the receptionist, "I am Saraphina Johnson, and I'm here for my first day as a PA," I say after we exchange greetings

"Mr. Finn is going to be so pissed with you. He called 30 minutes ago to ask for you, "
Fuck fuck fuck

She dials what I'm guessing is his office line, and I hear her talking to him briefly before she hangs  up

"He says you should come up to his office immediately"

"Thank you" I rush through the same route I went the first day to his office

I'm standing right in front of his office now, and I am dreading each second it will take for me to be in his presence

I hear a come in right after my knock, I slowly enter, I find him sitting in his seat behind his desk

"Good morning" I say a bit too quietly
He drops the paper he's holding and looks at me, his gaze is screaming murderrrr, "what is good about the morning, miss Johnson"

"I ..."
"I'm not done talking" I shut my mouth up completely
"You are 50 minutes late on your first day" I could sense the anger in his voice

"I'm sorry sir"
He gets up from where he's sitting and starts walking towards me, I don't know if to stay rooted to where I am standing or go back, I choose the former, I have to show him that I am not easily intimidated. He comes to stand infront of me, he's so close i can feel his breath, I feel like he's invading my personal space, I'm not able to look up at him because my heart is thumping hard against my rib cage, and I don't know if it's from nervousness or from he being so close to me, it could be both.

"You look at me when I am talking to you" he says so dangerously low, I lift my head to look at him, suddenly my hands become sweaty, unwanted memories of our night floods my mind as I look at his lips, those lips that made me shiver like never before, the same lips that had me exploding with pleasure. Concentrate Saraphina, this is not time for a daydream

I can't hear what he's saying because I am only looking at the movement of his lips.
"Saraphina" I am brought back to reality, "sir"

"This should be the last time you're coming late, I don't give second chances, I'm only doing this because it's your first day" I nod, because I doubt my mouth could form any sensible sentence, how am I supposed to work as this man's PA, when all I can think about when I look at him is jumping his bones, it's the way he looks so unbothered by our closeness that pisses me off. It makes me feel like I'm just sex deprived, maybe that is true, I really need to get laid before I do anything risky.

He goes back to his desk, "go to the receptionist on this floor, she'll show you where you'd be working and help you get accustomed to the place"

"Okay sir"
"It's Mr. Finn"
I nod silently, of course it's Mr. Finn, I take in a  deep breath, count to 5 before I utter my next words
"Okay Mr. Finn"
Once again, I am rushing out of his office.
If this happens anytime I enter his office, then I'm sure I'll get a heart attack very soon

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