ᴅᴇꜱᴛɪɴy - ꜱᴇᴏɴɢᴊᴏᴏɴɢ ᴊᴜɴᴍɪɴᴊᴀᴇ

chapter 34

Hoongjoong sign heavily seeing the
information infront of him.....what should he do now ???....he thought seeing his family photo on holo gram. He had done everything he could do to protect every single one of them. He has destroy all his desire and happiness for his family....he never live his childhood like a normal boy....how could he???.....he has many responsibility he has to taken care of....many secret....he has to hide....many lie he has to say....above all....the burden on his shoulder was never left.....every time....there was always something....he has to look after.....always something to protect....he was burden by promises many years....now he feel suffocated...with all those things.....he feel like he is loosing his breath.......the air around him is thik...make him feel like if he stay there one more minutes he might pass out.....

what should he do now ??????how long he has to lie to his own family ?????....How long he has to hide the truth....how long he is going betray his own minjae....and seonghwa....he knew.....he is playing very dangerous game right now....... That is what making him more terrified ....more scared....it is making him feel like slow poison.....killing him inside...without....making him feel anything.....like you would die one day...yet you want to survive somehow....you want to end everything....yet you want to live until the end.....you want to feel loved....you want care.....you want to be your own real self...without being fake....but hoongjoong is doing none of those things.....he hate that he is one who is fake ....he hated that he had lie to minjae from past 15 years....he hated that he hide something sensitive and important like this from minjae....he hated that....he make everyone believe in somthing....that never happened....for 15 years.....15 years....???it is not easy....it is ...in those years....he had lost count...Just how many time...his heart...broke...everytime...he look at minjae....in his panic state.....his heart break....seeing the tears in his eyes....he felt sense of distance....with him in these years....even if he love minjae..more then anything....more then his own life....he can't find himself connected with him the way he is with seonghwa......his connection is seonghwa is confusing....yet so precious.

he find minjae smiling with whole heart when he is with seonghwa.....but the thing is.....there is nothing perfect in this words. .... one word will destroyed everything between them...... the day the truth will unfold....he might be never will be able to see same seonghwa and minjae like he do now....he is more scared....of consequences then the truth.

he sign again heavily......and lean his head on chair.
"hoongjoong -ah....you are the leader of this group....You has to think carefully....you has to make the decision...for sake of this family....no matter how much you will gonna break with that....it is for better hoongjoong. ...you can't live with guilt and lie to them your whole life.....you knew that..." Hoongjoong tell himself...while lightly hitting his head on chair.

"It is time to reveal the truth.....you has to hurt everyone...before it kill you on its own...."hoongjoong murmured wearing his coat and....decide to go home. hoongjoong has to protect his own family...no matter how much he is suffering inside....no matter how much he is betraying them....no matter how much they will gonna hate him...no matter what.....the only truth is That.....he love them.....he will die for them...if the day come.

Hoongjoong open door just to get stabbed by many knife on his heart....that is hurting him without bleeding....no it is worse then getting stab by real knife.....he take off his coat and goes to refreshing himself..when he come back....he Don't know weather he should be happy...or sad....seeing the scene infront of him. Seonghwa and minjae are sleeping on his bed...while hugging each other.....he went close to them......and sat beside them....he look at minjae peaceful feature that he has .......while he is sleeping beside seonghwa....he never saw minjae sleep so peacefully in those 15 years...thinking about those years he has spend with him...those years....memories just hit him hard...as well the past...that is not doing any better on his wound.....his eyes goes toward seonghwa....who's hands on minjae's hair.....a action...that speak so much without any word.....he knew seonghwa love minjae....more then he love minjae.....he can't beat seonghwa when it comes to love minjae....a action that say....he is protecting minjae...from any scars...and wounds....worry any.....thoughts that hunt minjae....every nightmare that he has...every time....every bad things. ...that has ever happens to minjae......every bad memories ...that are nothing...more then......knife...on his heart.... That's what scare him more....because the connection minjae and seonghwa...has for each other....is stronger then any other things in this worlds.....their connection might be reasons....They are here today.... here all together.