Ghosts - Dream-team

Day 181

*Insert Technoblade Hullooo*

Sorry I haven't posted in a while 😅

Song is In My Head by Derivakat

⚠TW⚠

Angst

Cussing

Drunkness/Intoxicated? (Not sure if that counts :P)

Enjoy >:D

Dream POV

2 AM

     I feel dizzy, light-headed, nauseous. The stars above my head swirl and blood rushes to my head as my hands shake while I open the front door. 

     My mom jumps up from the couch, her expression filled with worry and anger. 

    It was obvious she was waiting up for me.

"Clay!! Where the fuck were you?! You kn-"

 "Just fucking leave me alone!!" I yell. 

     She steps back, shock filling her face. 

"Clay." She says softly, stepping to me. I ignore her and push past her, rushing up to my room.

     Patches dashes out, nervous with my sudden burst of anger. I slam the door behind me.

Why did they always have to treat me like a child? I'm 17 for fucks sake! 

   I hate it. I hate all of it. I'm all alone. No alive friends to have. Sure I have Karl and everyone else, but they have each other, Karl with Quackity, Tubbo, Tommy and Ranboo, Skeppy, Bad.

    And my parents! They don't trust me to do anything. They act like I'm made of glass, and that if I go anywhere without their permission I'll shatter into a million pieces and be lost forever.

       I'm so fucking tired of it. Sick of the feeling of anger, of sadness. It follows me around, pulls me down when I'm finally starting to feel better. It wraps me up in a blanket of depression. It makes me rethink my life choices and everything I've ever done.

I'm so fucking sick of the what ifs.

What if this?

What if that?

    I'm fucking sick of it all. Sometimes I wish I could just curl up into a ball and die. Sometimes I wish I got shot then. That it was me instead of George and Sapnap. 

I punch the wall again and again. My knuckles start to bleed but I don't care. The pain feels good.

    I feel someone put their hand on my shoulder and turn to see George.

"Why the fuck are you always following me around?" I grumble at him.

"Dream-"

"SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP." I take a step towards him. "You're the one who is causing all of this!!" 

"Just-"

"NO! If you never fucking found me in the first place, all of this would have never happened! You make me depressed! You're not the same anymore!!"

"I make you depressed?! I do?!!? DREAM take a look at yourself!!! You'd be at a breaking point by now if me and Sapnap never showed up!"

"You should have listened to me George. You should have trusted that I knew something bad was gonna fucking happen, but no. You thought everything was going to be 'okay' and that nothing that bad would ever happen to you."

George was on the brink of tears at this point.

     "I thought that everything was going to be okay because I felt safe with you Dream! I felt that we could trust each other and be safe together!"

     "I tried to protect you! I tried to go back, to save you! If you just listened to me you would still be alive! You should have trusted me! We could have been hanging out right now! Playing Minecraft until 3 am!! Going to parties or skateboarding through town!  But instead look how we turned out! I'm depressed and angry and you're..." my voice trails off.

"You're fucking dead." I say, more quietly.

    George pauses, pain flashing across his face, and a wave of regret washes over me.

"George-"

"You know Dream, I was so happy, knowing I could still be with you, still talk and hang out with you. I was happy that I could be here to help you when you were sad or upset, or when you needed someone to talk to. But its clear that you don't want that. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you. Goodbye Dream."

     And just like that, he's gone. Disappeared, just as I wished.

I slump to the floor, a sob escaping from my mouth. What did I do?

    I sit there, the darkness absorbing me, sucking me into the depressed world of the night. 

      I hear Sapnap's voice from somewhere in the darkness. 

"You fucked up big time."

       My ears ring as the silence wraps its blanket around me. My head throbs, showing signs of a soon to come headache. 

   I sit there, against the wall and eventually fall asleep, the alcohol making my brain go numb.

-

   When I wake up a headache pierces through my skull. 

Hangover, I groggily think.

     I look around, expecting to see George or Sapnap somewhere when suddenly I remember. The thoughts and memories of it hit me like a freight train.

"SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP"

       "You're not the same anymore"

             "You should have trusted me!"

 "I wish you would just fucking disappear"

Sapnap was right. I fucked up. 

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812 Words

CHAOS >:)

I've been rereading what I wrote so far and its so cringe T-T

Thoughts, comments, concerns, anything I should fix/do better?

I hope you guys have been enjoying this so far :D

Make sure to eat, drink, and do this weird thing called.. sleep? I'm always open to talk if you need to :)

Ily guys <333

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