Xiao backstory

Chapter 4

Bodies were everywhere. Blood slowly dripped onto the floor pooling everywhere. I stood frozen right at the doorway, I can feel whatever little stuff I had eaten immediately rise to my throat. It was mortifying. The bodies were a grayish purple and their wrists and thighs were slit open causing a pool of blood throughout the room. It seeped past the door the more I stood there.  I couldn't move. I fear if i would i would slip in the blood and be covered in it. It was the body of everyone I've eaten the dreams of from what I can see. Only a few weren't there because I've seen her turn the strongest men into practically puppets. I thought she would just let them free after everything. Although it sounds stupid i ever trusted her in the first place. I don't even fully know where I am and I decided to trust this creepy lady?! I must be really stupid. I've already gotten myself into deep trouble. I want to run but where do I go? I've never seen how to get here. She always knocks me out to transport me here. Is this all a dream? I look down at my feet and it feels like I can see every little particle of everything. Definitely not a dream. I took a deep breath and decided it was time to run out of here. I don't know how or where but I need a plan. Just as I took my first step back I almost slipped on all the blood but before I did I backed into something that clearly wasn't a wall. I felt arms on my shoulders. Before that wretched woman could even speak I immediately took off. Unfortunately, I left a trail of blood from how covered my feet were. 

As expected she eventually caught me whenever I ran into a dead end. She flipped out a blade from seemingly nowhere and spun me around. She slashed my arms as a punishment similar to the ones on the dead bodies.

The pain was such an odd one, it felt like mulch was scraping my skin in a weird way. The wounds throbbed and I instantly felt dizzy. I think I passed out. All I hear is ringing and the thoughts of my own head. I just want to cry. I hate this so much I hate hurting everyone. Anytime I try to prevent it I make it worse. Now because I discovered a secret and made a poor attempt to escape, probably worse is going to happen. I should've known to not go into the forest alone. Now everyone in my village is in danger because of me. I'm an idiot for letting this happen. I don't know what's happening next but I have to try to stop it. The main issue is I'm clueless. I've felt constantly left in the dark throughout this time with the god.

I hate that woman so much if she can even be considered one. She's more like a beast. I've seen her devour hearts - and other organs of which I hope belonged to animals - with her bare hands. It's like watching a lion feast on its prey. However she's far more cruel than a lion. At Least actual animals have some sort of sense of humility even the most evil of lionesses protect their pride or whatever is most important to them. The god is more like a plague, devouring everything in sight leaving nothing but rot and despair.

I've been out for a while and I could probably open my eyes but I frankly don't want to. I know if I do only bad stuff will come of it. I want to just dissolve back into the land giving whatever good I have left of me to the destruction I've caused. Maybe then my village will be ok. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm stuck in a waiting game. There's nothing left for me as of now. So I do just what I'm forced to do and wait. I sit there melting into the stone beneath me as much as possible ignoring my surroundings and just becoming a blob.