i was a sad little kid. always hoping that things will work out the way theyre supposed to. thinking that theres hope for everyone. back then, i was blinded by my own weakness. i couldnt see what reality really was. maybe the reason why drugs are banned is because people dont wanna see the world for what it really is. i live my life, but i dont know what im doing. i used to have hope that things will get better. that i have a sliver of a chance to be a singer, or an actress, or a dancer. shit like that. i used to think that everyone could if they tried. but now the light at the end of the tunnel has burned out. ive lost all hope. i know thats a shitty thing to say but its the sad truth. the harsh reality of things. in life, you dont always get what you want. there is no easy road. everyone is gonna feel like shit at least once in their life.
when i was 10 i found out i had ADD. at first i didnt know what that was. but i guess i have an anger problem. i honestly didnt give a fuck back then. and i dont give a fuck now. ive learned a lot of patience throughout the years, learning to deal with things in my own way and keeping my mouth shut if i didnt like something. during the first couple months after i found out, i was put on drugs. they dont work. no drugs work. what i had was making me see that its not all roses and happy times in this shithole of a world. theres are so many things wrong with this world that cant be fixed because people dont know how. young kids commit suicide cuz they dont wanna live through all the suffering bullshit being born has caused them. jeez, little children have so much hope in them that it seems sad that its all gonna be crushed as soon as they hit highschool. highschool is such a dream crusher. its also stereotypical as fuck. we still have the clics. the Populars, the Jocks, the Nerds, and the Nobodies. i used to think that being popular was the way to go. that highschool would be a joyride if i was popular. but so many people are popular for all the wrong reasons. they either bought their friends or peer pressured people into being their friend. but me? i was different. i didnt care about what i looked like or if people liked me. i was happy being alone with only like 2 friends. cuz thats all i needed. god knows how many people were only friends with a popular just so they were too.
