Did it start this way

I'm tired, arent you

Nothing... I could feel nothing. Not the firmness of a bed. Not the ground. Not even the coolness of the desolate room of this abandoned wing. The place I was raised under the despise and fear of the people who served this house. the scornful reminder of the reason I did all of this. why do I even have to continue this pathetic life? one filled with sorrow and grief forgotten by my father? the cold and hollow wall surrounding me in its cold embrace. forced to see my father live his life without me. I was happy for him of course if he wanted a family. He was my family. I care for him a lot. He was my whole world the last family I had. But he has his own family. I wanted to protect them but I couldn't.

I have given up... I will no longer pursue the love of people who don't care enough to reach out to see if I as a child was okay. they just stood by as I wrecked myself. I don't care anymore I won't forget myself for them anymore. I don't want to do this anymore

it all went black and Cale was back In his body. but now he was tired. "Young master?" Ron had opened the door to his room. Cale looked at Ron. "oh it's you, Ron..." Cale closed his eyes and took a deep breath. dread seemed to seep into his bones. he rolled over. sighing softly before rolling back over. Ron had now made it to his side of the bed. "did you not sleep well, young master?" Ron reached down to pull Cale's covers, Ron having his famous benign smile. "hmm...not really..." Cale let Ron remove his blanket. staring at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Ron noticed that something was wrong but chose to ignore it while helping Cale get to the bathroom where everything was ready. Cale carefully slipped into the bath. the aroma of roses wafted in the air reminding him that he was back. The water reached his shoulders. now alone in this spacious bathroom, the loneliness of his existence looming over him as a constant reminder that no one will care for him.

after finishing his bath he left the bathroom. His face showed a constant frown, the eye of a dead fish, and the all-around aura of death surrounding him like clouds on a rainy day. Ron was starting to worry for his puppy young master but did not voice this concern, it was not his responsibility. Cale walked the halls like a corpse, slow, even steps they almost sounded like light taps. As they reached the large garden door entering his mother's garden. he suddenly remembered Ron was behind him. turning "Hey Ron you can leave now I won't need you anymore." Ron was surprised and almost broke his facade. but in an even tone, Ron said "Of course young master..." bowing sharply he left. watching Ron leave Cale only turned when he could see Ron turn down a random corridor. cale calmly walked to the bright red gazebo, well what was left? his father had neglected this garden. he was leaving a couple of roses. Cale looked off into the distance observing the pond that surrounded the gazebo. Tiny little spots of orange pass through the water now and then. he felt okay here. even in its current state, it was beautiful and he stayed there for an hour a small smile tugging his lips every gust of wind.

Ron came up to the young master. He saw Cale was looking out to the pond. He remembered when his mother would do the same thing and hum a small tune. Cale was asleep on her lap. The world looked so right at that moment. Now Cale was alone. But he was happy. His father was happy. His new family was happy. There was no need to be sad.

"Young master," Ron called out softly, hesitating at the edge of the garden. "Are you sure you don't need anything? Perhaps some tea or a meal?"

Cale shook his head, trying to muster the energy to respond with his usual nonchalance. "No, Ron. I'm fine. Really."

Ron nodded, but the worry in his eyes remained. "As you wish, young master. But remember, you don't have to bear everything alone."

As Ron walked away, Cale's gaze returned to the pond. The koi fish, with their vibrant orange scales, glided gracefully through the water, oblivious to the turmoil in his heart. He envied their simplicity, their ability to exist without the weight of emotional burdens.

Hours passed, the sun slowly descending towards the horizon, casting long shadows across the garden. Cale remained seated, lost in his thoughts until the chill of the evening air began to seep into his bones. Reluctantly, he stood up, brushing off his clothes and taking one last look at the pond.

With a heavy heart, Cale made his way back through the deserted hallways of the mansion. The echoes of his footsteps seemed louder in the growing darkness, a stark reminder of his isolation. As he reached his room, he paused, hand hovering over the door handle.

For a moment, he considered turning back, seeking out Ron or even his father. But the thought quickly faded, replaced by the familiar resignation that had become his constant companion. He pushed the door open and stepped inside, the room cold and unwelcoming.

Cale lay down on his bed, pulling the covers up to his chin. The ceiling, once again, became his focus, a blank canvas for his restless mind. He closed his eyes, hoping for sleep to claim him quickly and offer a brief respite from the pain.

In the silence of the night, Cale's thoughts drifted to the possibility of a different future-a future where he could find peace and purpose beyond the shadows of his past. But for now, he could only endure, clinging to the small moments of solace that reminded him of the love he had lost and the strength he still carried within.

As he drifted into a restless sleep, a single tear slipped down his cheek, a testament to the enduring sorrow that lay beneath his stoic facade. The house around him remained silent, a silent witness to the struggles of a boy longing for a place to call home.