Depressed (Shawn-X-Taylor; Shaylor)

Chapter 24: I give up on names

((I'M SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG ME AND RYSSA ARE LAZYYYY))

Shawn's POV

I yawn and stretch in my uncomfortably empty bed. I'm pretty sure I went to sleep with Taylor last night..

I roll over and open my eyes, and see my phone on the bedside. I grab it and unlock it. One message from Taylor...It just says he went home this morning..He hasn't been home in a few days..Which is quite true..He's been with me this whole time.

...

It's 2 in the afternoon...

How the fuck did I sleep this late..

I slowly sat up and look around my room for a few moments, letting my eyes adjust to the bright light shining through the window. Rubbing my eyes, I stood up and pulled my shirt off. My arms..I stared down at the bandages that I still haven't taken off. I'm scared to see what it looks like..I don't know if Taylor cleaned the cuts before he wrapped them, I don't know what he used to wrap them, god, I don't even know if he wrapped them correctly. Either way, I need to take these off eventually, and I need to clean them, and wrap the again and ugh it's just so much work. But I'm gonna do it, I have to. Taylor can't do everything for me..

I poke my head out of my room to make sure my parents aren't around to patronize me. 
'Oh look who decided to show up!' or fucking 'Decided to leave your cave?'

Yeahahahah fuck you.

The coast is clear. I make my way to the bathroom, still shirtless so it's kinda cold, and run in, closing the door beind me. I look at my bandages and sigh, before beginning to peel off the tape and gauzes. Ew god it's scabby and bloody and ew. 

*And then Shawn continues to take off the gauzes and then clean his wounds with cleany stuff and then wraps them back up.* 

Much better..
I make my way back to my room and throw on a shirt. I'm tired of seeing my body. I change into some jeans, aswell. I fix my hair like the gay little man I am. 

...That was a joke, I'm totally not gay pffft. Whaaat, that's not even...Noo. I'm not gay hahahaha *Sweats*

I go to walk into the dining room, but I see my parents and sister sitting and eating lunch. I slowly try to sneak around into the other room, but my dad called my name.

I turn around with a groan and trudged over into the room, and sat down in a seat. 

"What." I asked, a little annoyed, while my parents waved Aaliyah into her room. I stared at them, annoyance and anger filling inside me. I really, really hate this. Why can't they just leave me alone?

"Honey me and your father talked about some things and we both agree that...you need help." She said. Thanks for noticing.

"Yeah thanks."

She sighed.

"We..We found a good therapist for you.."

My heart stopped. Therapist? I'm fucking...I'm not going to a therapist. I will die before I go to a therapist. Wanna know how I'm gonna die? I'll kill myself. I would literally kill myself before going to a therapist. Therapists just..no.

"I'm...I'm not going to a therapist." I stated very firmly. I'm gonna get my point across.

"Honey, You need a therapist."

"You need to listen to me."

"Shawn...your gonna go." My father decided to chime in.

I stared at both of them, in utter disbelief. Really? I can't believe...they even thoughT therapy was a good idea! Do they not even pay attention at all? Trust issues! I got fucking trust issues like you wouldn't even believe! I thought they fucking knew this? Wow! Therapy, such a great fucking idea. It'll be such a charm to spill all my secrets to a stranger! God knows what they'll do with that information!

"Sweetie, I know what you're thinking. Therapists, psychologists, all of those doctors. They can't tell anyone what you say to them. They'll lose their job, They're not allowed. They can't tell anyone."

"You...You don't know that." I mumbled, looking down.

My mom sighed, and we were quiet. No one's gonna say anything after this..So I slowly stood up and grabbed my jacket, before leaving the house and walking to the park.

I sat at the swings and stared at the sky...just thinking. About things. Puppies, Muffins, Taylor..

I just kinda realized how he was my first..

I know it wasn't Taylor's cause he told me when lost his virginity...

My best friend was my first.

My best friend...nothing more.

I don't like him. Not like that.

I would never like him were just really close friends

That have had sex.

Really
Hot
Sex.

And cuddle.

But I mean, who doesn't cuddle with their best friend?

Why can't everything be normal and be like in the movies...?

(Okay wow we havnt updated since may I'm sorry about that oops I'm lazy af

I went to the NY digi tour in June

It was grrreeeeeaaaatttt

So have a nice day byyyyyeee ))

(Oh hey sorry for the delay! We're just fucking lazy and don't do shit. I also went to a Fall Out Boy concert in June. Which was also great. 

Enjoy your day/night/evening/whatever the fuck.

B) -Ryss)