I hate that I love you

Chapter 2

It's been two days and I haven't spoken to Alex. He must be having a good time not to have called. My mom sent me again. This time I answered her. I told her I would think about it. I'm sure she'll want to bring the whole family together again. I hope she's up to something good because I'm not in the mood for any more upsets.

In the last few hours, I have tried more than ten times to meet with the new neighbor, but still no voice or hearing. Maybe I should ring the bell and offer her something to welcome. Maybe then we can get to know each other better. I still haven't learned her name, but judging by her appearance, the name will be something that characterizes her.

Two hours later I'm on her front door mat. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to come this far but I want to know more about her.

Two minutes before I knock, the door opens wide. Now I'm screwed, I think. As she faces me, she smiles at me. I don't know if it's right that I'm starting to get over Sissy, although I'm happy too which I think she would like.

After thirty-four excruciating seconds pass, she takes it on her hands and says, "Hey! Do you need anything?" .

I stay there, speechless and motionless. I fear that if I make a wrong move or say something wrong it will be against me. I see her expression, she's starting to worry so I take a deep breath and say "Good morning neighbor!" why did i say that I'm tearing up inside. "The other day when you came by to ask for sugar, I forgot to introduce myself and didn't even ask your name."

She senses the awkwardness between us and speaks first. "I'm Sarah! Nice to meet you."

Scree! What a nice name I think to myself. "I'm James," I reply, "nice to meet you."

The next two minutes pass slowly and uneasily. I don't know if I did or said something wrong but still she keeps smiling at me. I could stare at that smile for hours. It fills my soul in a way that nothing else ever has. Before I leave I ask her one more thing. "Since you're new to the apartment building, I'm planning to set the table for you two days from now!"

She looks at me and smiles, "I will be very happy to be your guest!".

After staring into her eyes, I smile at her and then greet her goodbye.

...

As I walk into the house, I haven't realized what just happened. I'm excited and at the same time a little guilty because I feel like I'm betraying Sissy. I have no intention of doing that, but I think I would like to move on as well.

I take off my shoes by the door. I leave my cardigan with the monk and lie down on the couch.

My mind starts traveling three years earlier after the accident. "Where's Sissy?" I call out." Is she okay? What happened? Why am I here?" I don't remember exactly what was going on. I was in the hospital but I didn't know why. I knew I crashed. I felt the crash but didn't know how much damage I had caused. I didn't know where Sissy was and that was what worried me the most. Two hours passed and I still didn't hear from her. Her parents had come to the hospital. They hugged me and told me that everything was going to be okay, even though I still didn't understand what happened. My mother seemed distant. Like she was hiding something. She was afraid. At least that's what her face showed. Did I do something to her before the accident, I wondered. I was still in complete ignorance. Many doctors were in and out of Sissy's room yet they wouldn't tell us what was going on. Reality hit me quickly when I realized that I had killed the love of my life. My Sissy. Along with her I had killed all my plans for my future. We had arranged everything together. I couldn't go ahead on my own. As soon as the doctors informed us...

  I wake up sweaty. Another nightmare. The past knocks on my door on a daily basis and I choose to open it. It's the first time in three years that I'm actually scared. Maybe it was a sign from Sissy that she doesn't want me to date another girl. I'm not sure. Cold sweat continues to wash over me. I look at the clock. 11.46 p.m. time. I'll vamp again tonight, I think.

I get up and head to the kitchen where I left my cell phone. I pick it up and see three new notifications from Alex.

- How about a coffee tomorrow? I have so much to tell you. Should I come to pick you up?

-I have no problem. Anything. I also want your advice on a matter.

I hit send and turn to walk to the room. I turn on the light and see it cleaner than ever. Maybe Sarah's presence in the apartment building helped me too. Banter. Maybe it's time for a nap. I'm in my pajamas and about to go to bed when I get another text from Alex

-Done!

I like his message. I leave my cell phone on the bedside table and fall asleep.