Fake Lovers

18. Heart-to-Heart

A few days has gone by without doing anything excessive. Just our usual routine. Little touches here and there. Giggles when somebody is near. So now we're sat next to each other in the Great Hall, eating dinner. I'm beginning to get sick of being near him 24/7.

It's always that same smell. That overpowering cologne that masks his actual scent. Why does he even wear this much cologne? He's practically breathing in it. I'm surprised he hasn't had any brain damage. Though, maybe it's been overlooked.

Someone in Hufflepuff has decided to summon everyone from the dorm to The Room of Requirement.

It was these little invites delivered by our owls. They were anonymous. I don't think either of us has entered that room for ages. The last time we ever did was to sharpen our magic skills to fight  against Voldemort. So going in there again might be a little uncomfortable.

Either way, the invites has a list on what we need to bring and it was the strangest thing. We needed to bring 2 pair of clothes, oral and bodily hygiene products and so on. Apparently this is compulsory. Authorized by who? I debated on going or not.

This seems like a waste of time and I can be doing other things.

"Woah. What'd you think this is about?" Ron asks, beside me as he stares at the invite in  curiosity.

"I don't know. But I don't think I'll be participating."

"Oh why not?"

I put the letter on the table, dismissing it. "Well it seems silly isn't it? Sounds an awful lot like a sleepover." I say and I glanced and Draco beside me, having a similar conversation with Blaise.

"What if Malfoy's coming?" He whispers.

"Then he goes without me. What's the fuss?"

He shakes his head. "If he goes alone people will be suspicious. Who goes to a supposed sleepover without their 'boyfriend'?"

I roll my eyes. "Ugh, all this dating thing is so complicated. Why do you cling yourself to another to this extent?" I annoyingly dig my spoon into the bowl where it clanks.

"...Because they like each other? Why are you so against this anyway?" Ron asks me and narrows his eyes.

I pursed my lips. I sighed. "I just... don't want to go to the Room of Requirement." I can see from Ron's face he regrets he even asked.

"Listen mate. I know you think it's your fault... the whole thing. It's not. Really." Ron took a deep breath. "We can talk 'bout this later if you want. But I'm trying to help you. You've gone this far. You can't let your fear interfere with what you want to change. However silly it might be."

I went silent for a little bit. I look beside me and Malfoy's eyes were on me. His eyebrows were furrowed, but his gaze was not unwelcoming. It wasn't pity. It was... understanding. It was odd. I snort. "When did you get this sophisticated?" I look at Ron again and his face was serious.

My smile drops and I continued. "Yeah... I guess I could go. I don't have anywhere else to be anyway." Ron is happy he convinced me, he continues eating his meal sloppily. I drop my spoon lightly on my plate and lay my cheek on my palm.

Malfoy stands up. "Harry, let's retire to bed." He forces a small smile for me. Huh? I mutely follow him to our dorm room. We left dinner too soon, there are nobody in the common room. "So, what was that about?" I ask him, still puzzled by his actions. Malfoy sits on the couch near the fireplace. I sit on the couch next to his.

"I just thought you might want to... get away after talking about something like that."

I stayed silent for a while, processing my reply. "I saw the look you gave me." I say, looking at the fire, my voice betraying a vulnerability reserved for only myself. Now he's silent.

"I guess we finally have a mutual feeling." He says simply, implying the obvious. He's guilty. We stayed in silence for a few minutes, pondering the unfortunate events.

"Why did you go against him? Why did you give your wand to me?" I ask the question that's been gnawing in my mind after a while. He finally looks at me, shocked to have asked a question. He purses his lips. "The only reason I was on his side in the first place is because my father was clearly in cahoots with... him."

"My father, he... um." He continues, trailing his words looking at his lap debating if he should reveal such an intimate detail on his life to me.
"Well let's just say I was coerced... in a brutal way. I couldn't defy him. Even if I wanted to." He leans on the couch and I frown.

"So when you were pronounced dead, there was a... strange feeling in my chest. As much as I deny it, you were the beacon of hope, and I guess I'm so used to seeing your dumb face every single day that I actually mourned your loss." His last sentence echoes in my head.

He laughs bitterly. "Foolish isn't it? I expect you to act like an adult and not speak of this matter with anybody." He sighs. Like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. "I didn't know you felt that way. Or even went through what you did." I started.

"I've always thought you'd like it if the world was evil or something." I snorted, trying to make light of the situation just a little. He held a little smile. "Perhaps I did fantasize of that life for a while. Where I'd be given immense power. But I realized by seeing my father, that power won't make you happy."

He says, savouring his own words. I'm both shocked and relieved that his views are far different than before. "Maybe you'll be a better father than him." I blurted out. He looks at me surprised, then he shrugs. "I don't know. Abuse is a generational curse."

"You have the power to break it." I pull my leg up, to face him. He thinks. "Perhaps."