Mr. Do Nothing

Is It Wrong to Pick Up Your Rival in a Convenience Store? 𝟚/𝟚

Atsushi caught him before he hit the ground. 

Or at least, tried to. He had moved only on instinct -- and by time his brain caught up to what the rest of him was doing, he had already found himself surprised by the sudden weight and thrown completely off balance. 

He hit the ground hard, bag flying off to the side and a burst of bruising pain to shooting up his side. 

"Ughh," he groaned as he pushed himself up with an elbow, "Ow..."

He opened his eyes, then immediately froze. Inches from his own face was Akutagawa's -- the mafioso flat on the cool, tiled floor. 

Atsushi instantly sprang back, inching away as quickly as possible.

Except Akutagawa did not attempt to tear his head from his neck. As a matter of fact, he hadn't moved at all. No... the guy was completely passed out, the bloodlust that had coated his aura like a thing, repugnant oil gone entirely.

Atsushi hesitated, then crept forward to peer into his rival's face. It was as pale and pallid as ever, dark lashes fluttered against tepid skin. 

What in the world is wrong with him?

Akutagawa had always been sickly, yes, but never had he straight out collapsed in front of him before. Atsushi glanced warily to the side. If the shop clerk had heard any of this commotion, he most certainly had no interest in looking up from his magazine.

Somewhere in the distance, a foghorn went off. A boat pulling into the docks. 

At this rate...I'm going to be late.

He glanced back at the unconscious Akutagawa. Seriously...  what were the chances of running into him of all people?

Yokohama was a big enough city with a big enough population, so how was it that he was always running into the one man whose personality revolved around wanting him dead and also very likely dismembered? 

Seriously...I don't understand it...

And yet, it was that moment, of his staring at the mafioso, did something from earlier start to make sense...

Have you been in contact with the Port Mafia?

Surely, the President hadn't meant something like this, right? The President had asked it so earnestly too, as if the Port Mafia -- no -- as if Akutagawa was just someone Atsushi sometimes found himself hanging out with.

It's not like that though! 

It wasn't like he had a choice regarding when he bumped into this fearsome, lawnmower of a human being. As a matter of fact, most of the time, those scenarios almost exclusively featured Akutagawa threatening to hunt him down and stab him within an inch of his life!

And well...sometimes Dazai. Sometimes it also involved Dazai engineering a situation in which they could encounter each other for who knew what reason.

But Dazai's not here...and Akutagawa looked just as surprised as I was...so was this really just by chance?

He shook his head. He was getting distracted. Right now, he had to figure out what he was going to do about all of this. After all, it wasn't like he could just leave him here, right?

Should he tell the shop clerk? Phone for help? Ah no... if Akutagawa woke up surrounded by paramedics, the ambulance would probably end up upside down at the bottom of some ravine. And if he called the police...

Atsushi flinched. 

Er...no. He better not do that either. If Akutagawa woke up surrounded by policemen, the police car would also probably end up upside down at the bottom of some ravine.