Dear Mom and Dad,
Here is the truth. You're not bad parents, but who I am and who you all want me to be isn't the same person. I'm unhappy alot of the time. I know I messed up alot. I know I've done dumb things, but I've grown and changed. I don't want a bachelor's degree. It costs so much, and so much time. You are both 65 years old, and should be retiring. I'm almost 21. I have gotten 3 associate degrees. Yeah, that's right. I am still 20 years old, and got 3 college degrees in various fields of computer science. All with honors. I have 11 certifications in tech and medicine. Think about that. I've literally done all that you wanted now. I've gotten certified in pharmacy. I went to college 3 times. I have an A- GPA. Isn't that enough?! Have I not made you proud?! Do you realize how much I have hurt....? Every time we get into a fight, you expect me to shut my mouth and just take it. You always play the victim card. It's so much so that I feel little to no remorse. Can you believe that? Here's a few things you have said that made me numb:
"You're the reason your father had a stroke."
"Your dumb ass shaved entire years off my life by acting like an ass back then."
"I should have let your mother throw you away"
These are just some of the hurtful things I've heard. Do you understand now?! No, you probably never will. You can say whatever you want with little consequences. You can take your anger out on me. Threaten to stab me in my throat with a sword or bash my head in with a baseball bat. You get mad at me for keeping secrets, but you keep bigger ones. You hid the fact I'm adopted until I was 17. I was a high school senior. Just because you decide I was acting like a jack-ass. Here's a news flash: most teens are assholes to their parents. The whole reason you got upset is because you won't listen. You hear the first half of my statements, then either cut me off so I can't finish or tune the rest of it out. I graduated with honors for a 3rd time...and I bragged about how everything was coming up (insert name). What did you do? You complained. You said that it's funny how I was celebrating this accomplishment when I didn't even wanna go to college back then. It was over 5 years ago. And you wanna know why I hated school? I was bullied. Harshly. People made fun of me because of my nerdiness. I was told to kill myself for years on end. I was told the world would be better if I died. I was spit on. Pushed to the ground. And my favorite memory. I was 13 in 8th grade. The teacher asked, "How do earthquakes happen?" And someone said, "when (my name) starts walking." Everyone laughed. I yelled at them to shut their mouths and I got an email sent home. I tried to explain, but you all ignored me. I was grounded. I couldn't have a phone until a few weeks before freshman year. You have my phone to my nephew who was 7/8 at the time. You literally took my stuff because I defended myself. Or when a kid threw my glasses. I was walking to my locker and used the 2nd floor outdoors walk way for a short cut. They threw them off the 2nd floor. And I had to run down there to find them. I have terrible vision. And when I told you, you just got upset at me. There were times you were there for me, but some of the stuff you have said and done just can't make up for it. Since you love secrets, let me share some of mine. I'm moving out. Yep. You finally drove me away enough. My friends are helping me. I signed a lease and will be paying the deposit and rent. I already have items to decorate and furnish the apartment on route via delivery. Electricity should be up in a few days as well, along with my own phone plan and wifi. I'm also proud to say I have a gf. Someone who I love deeply and I have been with them 11 months now. You talk about how much of a screw up I am. You're right. I'm a screw up. But our entire family is not without fault. Here's a little story as to how me moving out all started.
Back in November, a friend from my congregation and I were texting. She's gay, so there is nothing ever going on between us. But here's what happened. We talked about horror movies and how we each wrote bdsm stories and such. I ranted about my family to her, and the friends mom reported the fact that I watched horror movies to the congregation elders, while leaving out the fact that they watch horror movies too and everything else. My parents went through my cell, and saw me ranting about my family. My mom screamed "fuck you" over and over again. And said she was gonna throw me out. I went back to work, but I then decided to say " fuck this." I planned. I called apartments. Looked at cars and insurance. Now that I graduated, I put all things into motion. I signed a lease, got a money order to pay rent, got insurance quotes, and just now placed items in my shopping cart to be delivered to the apartment. I know that my mom won't let me do what I want unless it's what she wants as well. And if I fight her on anything, she threatens to throw me out. I'm done being manipulated like that. I've given $100 weekly to them for bills. I help pay and administor my dad's medicine. And he gets expensive blood glucose sensors. I helped my brother in financial need. He owes me 2.8k right now. He's 39 and I'm 21. I pay to get the car fixed, and you all say it's not my car. I've been driving it for three years now. I got the wiring fixed from you all messing with it. If not for me, it would be scrap. I've spent over 2k on fixing the car. And I haven't asked for any money from you all since I was working as a fry cook back in January of 2021. I've done good and bad things. For my college degrees, it's been paid in full by my own money, and from scholarships. By the time you all read this, I'll be moved out. I love you all, but who I am and who you want me to be will never be the same person. I don't want my future kids to end up scarred like me.
Love,
Your Son.
