The Mafia's Dove (Hyunjin centric)

Window

(Ready for a chapter entirely from Minho's perspective? . . . Yeah, me neither.)

-Minho's POV-

My opinion of Hyunjin never seemed to remain the same for more than a short period of time. I heard about him before I actually got to meet him, and when Felix first told the rest of us the story of how Hyunjin acted when he was kidnapped and tortured, it was hard to not envision a maniac. But then I got to meet him the next morning, and he reminded me more of a doll with vacant and soulless eyes. Felix had called this state "emotional numbness", but even knowing the reason behind the man's state it was difficult to envision him acting in any other way. It was disturbing to see someone so blank and unresponsive, but when his eyes finally met mine, I realized he reminded me of a doll for more reasons than just his empty eyes.

The more I got to know him the more unbelievable my first impression of him seemed to be, because he proved time and time again that he was far from blank. He was chaotic, random, and annoying. He was reckless and possessed a careless confidence that to this day I had yet to see waver. And above all? He was really, really, unpredictable.

He didn't respond to things the way most people would, and it was often difficult to figure him out. At first this proved mildly entertaining, but when I learned of his background, the sudden inability to figure out his next move only fueled my unease.

I was not afraid of the mafia. They bled just like everyone else. They died just like everyone else. I could defend myself, and I was strong enough to prevent my past from repeating. But the others trusted him. They allowed him to stay in our house, they allowed him to remain close. They trusted him with weapons. They trusted him with Changbin's life. And suddenly the only precautions I had to defend myself and the others from what I considered to be a monster was obsolete.

The mafia . . . Not a single member of the mafia I had met proved to have any level of humanity left in them. They were dangerous, and if we weren't careful, any one of us could fall victim to them. They were merciless. They were manipulative. And I assumed Hyunjin was the same way. I had to assume. The others trusted him so quickly. Even Jeongin warmed up to him after their misunderstanding was cleared up. I was certain that Hyunjin was simply waiting for our guard to drop, because he had mafia blood, and you couldn't trust them.

I was ashamed to admit it, but I had been afraid of him. He was dangerous. He was skilled enough to overpower us if he wished, and because he was so unpredictable, I couldn't figure out whether or not he would suddenly prove to be a threat. He had no reason to go to such lengths to help us, so I assumed he was trying to gain our trust. And yes, we had kidnapped him, but he had proven that he could leave at any time. We didn't have the manpower to keep him against his will, so what reason could he possibly have had to stay?

I couldn't bring myself to trust him. I couldn't bring myself to let my guard down. Because if he actually proved to be a threat? He had access to all the people I loved. I couldn't bear the thought of any of them having to go through what I went through. But I couldn't convince them to keep their distance, so the only thing I could do was keep an eye on him.

But, as time passed my fear fueled hate began to fade the more I got to know him, and while I was still weary, it became harder and harder to see him as a monster. What I feared was starting to happen. I was letting my guard down. Over time I found myself less tense around him. I was less uncomfortable with the idea of the others being near him. And against my wishes I was starting to grow comfortable with his presence.

I was starting to see his care as genuine. I was starting to not doubt his intentions when he helped the others. I was starting to trust him.

And it was terrifying.