Dont leave (LionFish fanfic)

Chapter Three/Dreams

POV GAMING
*1 day has past by*

My alarm on my phone started buzzing like crazy. I thought I turned it off for summer brake? Meh I guess its a good think to keep a proper sleep schedule even if I'm not going anywhere. I got up from my bed and gave out a really loud yawn and scratched my hair a bit. I looked at my nails to see all the dandruff that's in my hair. 

"I haven't token a shower in a while I probably should take one....After breakfast." I quickly changed from my pjs into plane black shorts with a dark red shirt. I put on a bunch of deodorant because only Archons know I probably smell like street trash, I then walked myself upstairs to make myself something in the kitchen but when I entered my eyes immediately widened.

It was her. She. She's here? Wait, how is she here? Shouldn't she be dead? I don't understand how is this possible, am I dreaming? I have to be, but maybe...just maybe I finally woke up from a never ending nightmare.

"....Mom?" I said in pure confusion. It's not possible. How is she still here. Standing.

"Honey, come sit made egg fried rice. Don't worry I added a lot of soy sauce. Just how you like it."

I don't know if I was in shock at that moment but my whole body didn't move a mussel. In fact when I tried to walk up to her I couldn't move at all. I can't believe it. She's here. Right in front of me.

"Mom..I-I thought you were hurt. You were in the hospital for months but. How?"

My mom seemed to froze for a second. She put down the spatula and walked up closer to me putting her arm on my shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"Gaming. You don't realize yet do you? You're still in denial. Refusing to accept what has already pass. Everyone else forgot me Gaming. Your aunts and uncles, you're father, everyone has moved on, except you. You can't get rid of me can you?"

I felt chills for a moment. I didn't fully grasp what she said. Get rid of her? Why would I do that? 

"Mom you're confusing me. What are you talking about?"

"Gaming. It's been a year. Get over it. Get over me." She grabbed onto my shoulder even tighter like she was trying to rip though my skin, she then moved so much closer as if her face was up against mine. I still couldn't move.

"Mom...you're scaring me. Mom?"

"...I think I can understand why." Everything then faded to black the kitchen the house. Everything. It was just darkness until I felt presence behind me.

"Because, you know that it was your fault."

I immediately jolted up. I gasped for air like it was my dying breath. Shaking from that. That nightmare.

Nightmares aren't rare for me anymore. In fact whenever I fall asleep I end up having a horrible dream. It's awful every time. Always ends up putting me in a horrible mood, but. I cant let anyone see me like this. I'm the cheerful fun guy everyone goes to for comfort. They, they cant see me like this. No one can.

I got up, for real this time and I left my room to head to the bathroom that's across from it. The basement was large but there wasn't that many rooms. There was two bedrooms one of them being mine and the other a guest room, a bathroom, and a large lounge area that's basically as big as the Livingroom upstairs, its where I keep all my gaming gear like my Xbox and TV. It even has its own kitchen. To be honest if we wanted to we could just rent out this entire basement and someone could just live here. 

I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Once it was warm enough I took off all my clothes and went into the shower. I never really had much motivation to shower anymore. Actually I didn't have much motivation to do anything. Even though I hide it really well I always feel so bland inside. So empty. I'm constantly worrying about things that I can't control and I always feel so alone even though there's people with me. I know I have friends but, I don't want to be a bother. If they see me like this. So down and depressed. They wouldn't stick around for very long.

I felt the warm water flow over me. It felt so calming, like raindrops falling onto my skin. I just wanted to stay here forever never worrying about the outside world again. Here I feel safe. I feel safe from my nagging father, and away from all the thoughts about my mother. 

One thing that nightmare got right was the fact I could never truly accept her death. Everyone else brushed it off so easily. Almost completely forgotten about her, except for me. She was everything to me. Whenever I was upset she was always there, she would comfort me whenever I was down and always ended up making me laugh. She was the reason I was so joyful but now that she's gone what's the point? I didn't just lose my mother I lost the one person that truly cared. That actually loved me. Why do the Archons have to be so cruel? taking her away like that. 

Once I was done with my shower I wrapped myself in my towel and went into my room to put on some lotion and change. As I was finished my phone started buzzing. I got a text. It was from Xinyan.

"Yo gaming what's up? Did you finish your exams yet"

I grabbed my phone and laid back down onto my bed and texted her back

"Yea I just finished my last exam yesterday so I don't have to go to school anymore....Well not until next year ofc"

"heh yea not looking forward to having to go back to school but that's still 2 months away we got time So you busy this week me Chongyun and his boyfriend Xingue were gonna go and get some boba today and hang out, Its been a while since you've been out other then for school so we're hoping you would join us???"

I thought about it for a moment, I mean I'm grounded and my dad wouldn't want me to leave the house. Maybe I could sneak out? Nah, I can't. Somehow my dad will find out even if I did the perfect escape, I don't know how but my dad can always read right through me no matter how good my lie is.

"Sorry I'm grounded. Can't leave at all this week"

"You're joking. Oh come on no offence but your dads so lame he's always finding a reason to keep you inside. So what reason is it now? what did you get grounded for this time?"

"My grades were too low this year and I swore at him"

"OH SHIT. You swore at your dad? That takes some guts"

"It was indirect I didn't actually curse at him I just said Fuck in a sentence that's all"

"Welp that sucks, What about next week do you wanna hang out then?"

"I'll try"

"Okay man, I gtg now cya"

"Bye"

Man I really want boba. I wish my dad wasn't so uptight Its so annoying. Knowing him he probably has some sort of plan to keep me locked up in the house all summer. I want to go out and have fun but I can't seem to be able to have any real freedom or fun. All I can do is look at that small little window. Showing me the world I cant seem to reach. 

I climbed onto my bed to look out at the window better. I could see quite a lot despite the size. I could see the flowers that grew in my garden, the trees that grew outside the fence, the little cats that would clime onto the tree and ended up getting stuck on the branches. I guess me and those cats aren't too different. No matter what we do, we ended up getting trapped. No one has true freedom. No one.

THATS IT FOR CHAPTER 3, TRUST ME WERE GONNA GET TO THE MAIN POINT OF THE PLOT SOON