Wet Towel

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 The warm water cascaded down his nude form, eventually meeting the floor of the shower and leaving through the drain. He weaved his fingers through his deep brown locks of hair, washing the lather out and letting it flow down his body. Ever so slightly, the scent of smoke drifted into the bathroom and entered his nose. Sniffing the air, he recognized the burning smell and rushed to turn off the water. Nearly slipping on the unnoticeable puddle of water, he stepped out of the shower unit and quickly wrapped a towel around his waist before rushing out of the room. Immediately upon entering the hallway, the smoke in the air became more prominent both to his eyes and nose. 

Following the stench of burning, he eventually reached the kitchen to find Hanji cooking... something. Whatever it was, it was now a disfigured and charred, burning lump.

"Hanji! What are you doing? What's burning?" Eren coughed out through the thickening air.

"Eren? Is that you?!" Hanji yelled back in reply. "I was just trying to see if I could cook Titan flesh. Turns out they won't make good steak."

"There's fire! THERE'S A FIRE, HANJI!" Eren's attention returned to the still burning piece of meat. "We need to put out the fire! Find some water!"

"Well, the fire is a bit close to the sink... So I'll go draw water from outside then! Bye!" Hanji grinned and sped off.

"WAIT— BUT, THE FIRE IS STILL... HANJI COME BACK," Eren screamed after the retreating leader, but received no reply. She was gone.

'Guess I have to take this into my own hands... and make sure Levi doesn't end up killing me when he comes back.'

Looking around wildly for something to put out the fire with, Eren became aware of the moist towel wrapped around his waist. As soon as the thought processed in his head, he whipped it off. Approaching the fire, he flailed around the moist towel in an attempt to tame the rising flames. Slowly but surely, the blaze was beaten back by his ((questionable)) weapon of choice. Unfortunately, the relief was short-lived as the flames soon began to eat at the edges of the cloth.

"Shit, OH SHIT NO DAMMIT!" Eren cursed when he realized his weapon ((?)) was catching fire.

Eren backed away from the once more rising flames in all his naked glory. He was near the doorframe when he heard light footsteps making their way down the hall. He barely had a second before the door was kicked off of its hinges, and unfortunately, landed on the terrified boy. Groaning, Eren crawled out from under the heavy wood and glimpsed at an irritated corporal's face.

"What the fuck are you doing, brat?" Levi scowled.

"The fire, and where's Squad Leader Hanji?"

"How the fuck would I know where Four-Eyes went?" Levi responded, eyeing the fire before sending a glare towards Eren. "You little shit. Did you do this?"

"N-no sir! Hanji was trying to cook Titan meat, but then she just ran out and left me here!" the boy protested.

"Tch. Just go and look... decent. I'll deal with the damn fire."

"But sir!" Eren stood up and tried to put out the flames once more.

Levi gave Eren a cold stare up and down. "Don't. Make me repeat myself. Put something on your sorry excuse of an ass before it ends up burning."

Intimidated by the older man's tone, Eren took off down the hallway, passing by ((and flashing)) the mortified faces of his squad. Levi quickly put out the fire with a nearby extinguisher. If Eren had stayed a heartbeat longer, he would've been tempted to beat the shit out the brat for causing such a ruckus. He sighed and walked out to face the rest of the team and a snickering Hanji.

"So, how did it go, Levi?"

"You fucking shitty glasses..."


What did I just write omg. This is based on a true story that my pastor shared. Of course I changed and adapted it to fit their characters and stuff, but you get the idea. I wrote this complete crack in the middle of church I HAVE SINNED SAVE ME.

Of course, if I made any mistakes, don't hesitate to tell me or correct me! Thanks!!!~

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 03, 2015 ⏰

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