𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 • Nika Mühl

four.

- Burden.

Something is rotten inside and I
I have to find it and
Cut it out
-searows

•••

Julie sat on the cool concrete of the alley, the late afternoon sun casting long shadows. She and Kylie were sharing a moment of peace, a bubble away from the chaos that had taken over Julie's life since her ACL injury. The laughter they shared felt distant from the weight on Julie's heart. She didn't want to think about basketball, about practice, or about her torn dreams.

"Man, I missed this," Kylie said, exhaling a cloud of smoke. She leaned back, her head resting against the rough brick wall. "Minus the getting high bit," she added with a laugh.

"Same," Julie replied, squinting at the fading sunlight. "I'm sorry for ditching you out of nowhere."

Kylie turned her head, a knowing look in her eyes. "I get it. You thought maybe if you left it all behind, you could forget about your—"

Julie cut her off, the words sticking in her throat like a bitter pill. She didn't want to say it. "Yeah, I just... I thought it would help," she finally said, looking away. The truth was, no matter what she did her dad's words, his face was stuck forever haunting her mind.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Kylie asked gently, her voice softening.

Julie hesitated, weighing the burden of her pain against the need for release. But the thought of dragging Kylie into her mess felt wrong so she shook her head.

"What about you? How's things at home? With Paul, the prick," she asked, changing the subject.

Kylie sighed, her expression shifting. "As good as it can get, I guess. Not trying to get my hopes up because something's going to happen sooner or later." She paused, and Julie could see the flicker of worry in her eyes, the fear of the unknown.

"I get it," Julie said, nodding. They both knew hadn't had the best life when they were younger but they did know that it was better to feel trapped, than to wish for their life to get better. Why? Because the pain was worse when it never did.

The two girls talked for hours on end, the shadows grew longer, the sky deepening into shades of purple and orange. Julie felt a flicker of normalcy, a reminder of the friendship of their younger days. But as the sun began to dip below the horizon, reality crept back in.

Suddenly, Julie's phone buzzed, breaking the moment. She frowned as she saw Azzi's name flash on the screen. It was the fifteenth call since that morning.

"It's Azzi," Julie muttered, her anxiety rising slowly. "I'll call her later."

Kylie glanced at Julie, concern etched on her face. "Look, I know she isn't the fondest of me, but I think we can all tell she's worried about you. You got somebody who cares, Jules. Hold on to that," she said softly.

Julie sighed again, feeling the weight of Kylie's words. "I don't know... what would I even say? I'm back to doing stuff when I promised you I wouldn't." She said sarcastically.

"Just pick it up, J," Kylie urged, nudging her lightly.

With a reluctant breath, Julie answered the call. "Hello?"

"Jules, where are you, you had me worried sick" Azzi spoke. Julie turned to Kylie who raised her hands up to signify she's not involved.

Julie rolled her eyes at her friend.
"I just went for a walk" she responded to which Kylie looked at her mouthing "dumbest excuse ever"