》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ * 。° 。 • ˚《
you loved being around nika. being able to have a close connection with someone was hard to find, but with her it just felt easy.
you and nika were both chilling on her bed watching tiktoks. she had a chaotic game last night and being the "friend" you are, you decided to keep her company by staying over.
she kept her head steady on your thigh while you continued to gently feel through her hair. lifting her arm, she placed it on your leg while taking her hand, caressing her thumb against your skin.
"that feels nice." you felt the raspiness of her voice vibrate on your thigh. you glanced down to notice her eyes closed with a small smile on her face.
this little "hanging out" thing has been happening for over 2 months now and to be honest, you were over it. you didn't exactly know what you guys were and that confused you even more. not being able to tell anyone the way you actually felt about her was messing with you.
at the same time, you didn't want it to stop. the feeling of losing her over talking about something so little wasn't going to put an end to what you guys had, but you needed to tell someone.
"please don't stop." her hand started slowly traveling to the inner part of your thigh. this made you weak. the pace of your breathing got heavier every time she slightly slid up. not being able to take anymore, you took your hand out of her hair, grasping her hand, putting it right back where she had it.
"we gotta get up, you and I both know they're probably waiting for us downstairs." you gradually tried moving your leg where her head was still placed. she gave up and lifted it.
once you got out of her bed, she followed you, rolling her body around until she propped herself up. going over to the chair, you grabbed your jacket, sliding your arms through. what you didn't know was, nika had her eyes glued on you.
you kept your body facing towards the front of her dorm room door. all you heard was creaking from her bed. you knew she had fully gotten up now. her footsteps sounded like they were getting closer. once they stopped, all you felt were the coldness of her arms wrapping around your waist.
she held you for as long as she could, placing her head on your shoulder. she began rocking you from side to side. you loved this, but you couldn't stop thinking about how to tell her you wanted something more.
》
when you and nika got downstairs to meet up with the girls, you saw them close by the main entrance door. what killed you was kk and aubrey trying to dance early in the morning.
"mhm, you two always be the main ones that be late when we tryin' to go somewhere." paige said walking in your direction.
"girl i know, nika had came and got me from my dor-" you tried turning around to point at nika, but she had already rushed over to go talk to caroline.
'did she really leave that fast?' you thought to yourself as you kept your eyes on her. turning back to paige, you let your hands fall into your jacket.
"hey, where's azzi?" you asked, turning your head back in nika's direction. you couldn't help but lower your eyes to her lips. keeping your gaze there.
"she's already in her car. so you must be riding with her then?" paige asked. "you know, you can ride with me and nika, i know they'll be some room-"
"i'm good, thanks though p." paige couldn't finish her sentence before you had cut her off. you felt bad, especially when she didn't do anything. you tried smiling it off while walking to the entrance door to leave the building.
》
you knew exactly where azzi's car was, but her always parking far away wasn't cool. once you got to her car, you held your body weight up against her door, trying to catch your breath. she had this 'what the hell' look on her face as you got inside.
"you're so dramatic y/n." azzi chuckled, giving you one of her warm smiles.
"girl you literally parked the farthest you can from the fucking building." you huffed, fanning yourself with your hand.
"you're just lazy." azzi shrugged her shoulders as she turned on her car. she must already had her air conditioner on from the other day because it automatically turned on. you threw your face close to the air so it could blow on your skin. azzi immediately looked at you with a confused expression.
"wait, why aren't you riding with paige and nika?" azzi questioned.
"because i wanna ride with princess azzi." you tried making your voice high, pushing your shoulder into hers.
she side eyed you, only letting her eyes glare you up and down. she knew you were lying, but she didn't know why. "y/n, you never ride with me."
and that's when it hit you. you always hated the feeling of your eyes getting heavy because you knew it would lead to you ending up crying. this situation really messed you up. the tears began to fill up. not knowing what to do you just closed your eyes.
"y/n?" in the moment, hearing azzi's voice without seeing her made it a little better to process how you were going to tell her
"i don't know." your voice got muffled as soon as you threw your face in your hands. after sliding your hands down, you put them back making sure azzi didn't see your face.
"huh?" azzi raised one of her eyebrows. at first she thought you were playing, but then she realized something was up.
"i don't know what to do azzi." she couldn't hear you from your voice being so soft. she got a hold of your arms, gently lowering them, making you take your hands off your face.
she didn't know exactly what was going on, but she knew something was wrong. she didn't want to just forcefully make you say it, so she just waited for you to say something. you still had your eyes shut. you didn't know how to explain to her that you were basically hooking up with nika, and for almost 3 months. taking a deep breath, you opened your eyes.
all you said was "nika."
"what about nika?" she took off her seat belt, trying to turn her body in her seat to face your way. this is when she got serious.
telling azzi about everything that's been going on with you and nika felt like a weight that was lifted off your chest. azzi had an expression for every thing you told her. she kept mouth wide open, you knew she was shocked. holding out your pinky, you made azzi promise not to tell anybody.
"break this promise, and i get to break your pinky." she knew you weren't playing with her, but she decided to laugh anyway.
"y/n shut up." she shook her head, and crossed her pinky into yours. "so you haven't told anyone else yet about it?"
"no, and i'm not planning on it." you unwrapped your pinky with hers and crossed your arms.
"let me give you some advice." holding out her arms for a hug, she waited for you to lean in. she tilted her head, throwing in a little smile for the finishing move. you gave in and let your body move into hers.
"if you don't tell her how you feel now, this won't stop, and she'll only see you your relationship as friends but 'talking'."
knowing azzi was right, you wanted her to be wrong. you just dropped your head on her shoulder letting the silence overtake.
thinking about what azzi said still didn't convince you to tell nika. but by telling her the way you feel, was the only real way to see if she feels the same. the only time you could actually say something was when you get back to campus, and that's exactly what you were going to do.
(im sorry if this one was long. imma start posting more bc i go on summer break tmr, but i hope u guys enjoyed it. idk if i should make a pt 2 to this 😭💕)
(and i might change the name of this book to maybe 'uconn imagines' ?? idk yet let me know your thoughts😭)
