Snafu

Thunderstorm - Part 2

They went back outside and wandered around a rose garden which mostly looked like a thicket of thorns at this time of the year. As they passed through an archway made of a carefully trimmed hedge, Cole caught sight of something purple dotting the expansive lawn before them.

"Crocuses!" He exclaimed, running forward to crouch beside the little flowers. He glanced over his shoulder and beckoned Gideon to follow. "Chris told me what they were. You have some in your gardens."

"I bet I do." Gideon surveyed the lawn with its artfully spaced trees and abstract art installations. "This is a nice spot. Why don't we set up here so you can draw."

They wandered over to a cluster of trees and sat in the sun because it was so lovely to feel its warmth. Gideon sat with his back against one of the trunks, book propped against a raised knee. Cole settled beside him with his legs crossed.

He began drawing one of the art installations, trying to remember how to sketch with perspective and proportion and all that. The abstract shapes stacked on top of one another in a leaning tower made for good practice. By the time he was finished, his neck felt a little sore from bending over the sketchbook in his lap and the increasingly blustering wind kept trying to lift the page, but he was proud of the sketch.

He showed Gideon, who gave it a solemn nod of approval and went back to his book. Cole set the sketchbook aside and slid back down in the grass to close his eyes and soak up the last few rays of sunlight before they disappeared for good behind the dark stormfront that had followed them here. He squinted up at the splash of light against the menacing clouds.

"When I need to relax and find some peace, I usually go to this museum downtown," he said absentmindedly. "There's this painting of a storm that I really like. Looks just like the sky does now."

"You'll have to show it to me some time," Gideon said. Cole hummed in agreement.

"I want to keep doing this," he admitted. The thought has been circling like a vulture waiting for him to finally give up the ghost and lay himself bare before Gideon. And he could not stand it anymore. Not when Gideon went to bat against his brother for him and gave him endless forehead kisses and encouraged him to get plants under the condition he would stick around and take care of them. It was all too good to be true and Cole needed to know that it wasn't just playing along, and it wasn't just going to end.

"Yeah, it's nice." Gideon flipped the page of his book. "We can come back again. Or go to the museum."

"No." Cole wrapped his hands around the sides of his neck, even though he wanted to do this with confidence, to make Gideon believe he really meant it. But he was folding under the anxiety, physically, at least. "I mean, like...all of it. I know when your mom gets back, you were going to get her to resolve this with your brother and annul the marriage. And, I mean, maybe that's still a good idea. But I don't want that to mean that this..." He gestured between them with a finger. "...has to end."

Gideon laid his book across his chest and gave Cole his full attention.

"I guess," Cole sighed, "what I'm trying to say is that I want to be together for real."

"We are." Gideon furrowed his brow.

Cole squinted across the expanse of grass. "Yeah, but I want to be together because we actively chose it. Not because we're making the best out of the situation or because you feel guilty or whatever."

Gideon set the book aside without even looking at what page he was on and picked up one of Cole's hands. "Okay. I thought we were already past the point of making the best of the situation. But if you need to hear it, that's fine. I choose you. We can go on more dates like this if you like that. I like it. Forget the stupid marriage. We can get a divorce and then I'll eventually propose to you, and we can get re-married. Or we can just not bother. I don't care. But I don't want it to end either."