beneath your dust-piled crown | yeongyu

;chapter 9

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Tomorrow blurred into the day after, then another, each day melting into a long, exhausting struggle. Beomgyu felt drained, having to start every morning with a resolve that crumbled the second Yeonjun appeared, and the constant battle against his own emotions was wearing him down. But it was just a crush, wasn't it? It would fade. He just had to hold out.

However, holding out felt more like holding on — clinging to a rope that frayed more with each passing day.

One afternoon, after a particularly long and unfocused day at university, Soobin basically dragged him to his place for a gaming session. Beomgyu had been dodging him, aware that his best friend was feeling sidelined but unable to muster the energy to pretend everything was normal. Today, Soobin wasn't having any of his excuses.

"You're coming with me, no buts. It's been two weeks, man," he had said, his tone brooking no argument.

At his apartment, they set up in front of the TV, game controllers in hand. Soobin tried to keep the atmosphere light, cracking jokes and throwing playful challenges, but Beomgyu was barely there. He moved his character mechanically, his responses delayed, his laughter forced.

"So yeah, Yeonjun's been helping out at the center pretty frequently now," Soobin mentioned offhandedly while navigating through a particularly tricky level.

Beomgyu's fingers paused mid-air, his character on the screen left standing still. "Huh, what did you say?" His voice sharpened with focus suddenly, Yeonjun's name cutting through his fog.

Soobin paused the game, turning to face him. "Remember the children's center I volunteer at for my social work course?" he prompted, ensuring he had Beomgyu's full attention now.

Beomgyu nodded slowly, the pieces clicking together. "Yeah."

"Well, Yeonjun started helping to organize a charity event for them at the university," Soobin continued, watching Beomgyu closely with the controller resting in his lap. "He goes there every other day."

Beomgyu processed this, the information slotting into a space in his mind he wished remained empty. "Oh," was all he managed, his voice neutral.

"You've been off lately," Soobin said, his tone shifting to concern. Beomgyu opened his mouth to default to his usual 'just tired' excuse, but Soobin cut him off. "Is this about Yeonjun?"

"No," Beomgyu answered quickly, too quickly. "It's just been a long day."

Soobin frowned, not convinced. "Gyu, come on. You've been off for more than just a day. It's like you're here, but not really. And whenever Yeonjun's name comes up, you..." He trailed off, gesturing vaguely with his hands.

"I just have a lot on my mind, okay?" Beomgyu tried again, his voice strained.

"But it always circles back to him, doesn't it?" Soobin pressed, his tone softening as he watched his friend closely.

Beomgyu paused, his throat tight. Damn it, how does he figure out everything so easily? He swallowed hard, unable to meet Soobin's eyes. "I just don't know what to feel anymore," he admitted after a while, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Maybe that's the thing," Soobin suggested gently, leaning forward. "Maybe you do know, and you can't admit it because you're scared of what that would mean for you."

Those words hit Beomgyu like a truck. As if the walls were closing in around him, the room was suddenly too tight, the air too thin. With Soobin's words echoing in his mind, a stark, chilling clarity settled over Beomgyu.