almost good poetry

untold lies (therapy)

I sit in my school counselors office
the couch givin in beneath me, it's soft
there anti drug posters on the wall opposite to me
I've studied their every inch
she asks me how I've been
the poster says "don't do drugs" and
I tell her I've been better
I don't dare tell her about my new cuts

she follows my eyes as I scan the room,
the bean.bag squished to a pulp
someone was here before me
maybe they prefer the bean bag cause it
accommodates their every whim
she ask if I've been having suicidal thoughts
I notice the people in my arms has a loose thread
she looks me in the eyes waiting for an answer
I tell her no, I've been doing the daily affirmations.
I don't dare to tell her about the pills in my drawer.

the notebook in her hands has only a few pages left, i wonder if it's for everyone or just for my issues
it used to ge a vibrant blue but now it had lost its glow
she asks me if I've been eating everyday  I watch as she turns another page back,
maybe those are all my issues,
would it get better if i burned them?
I tell her I've been eating everyday,
I dont dare to tell her about the calorie counter in my phone.