Hearts aren't meant to hurt like this

One step forward, three steps back

Everything felt as if it'd blurred into one. Having his da-Mick come back, Linda passing out drunk, it was just all too much.

He didn't even get one birthday where Linda hadn't ruined it.

Ollie sighed as he turned over in bed to see a message from an unknown number on his phone.

Can we meet today? With Annie?

No guesses who the unknown messenger was then.

Ollie nodded to himself as he composed a text back.

Sure. Where?

He knew he probably sounded really blunt but he'd had very little sleep and he just wanted everything to go back to the way it was. Not like it was yesterday, like when he was little and his dad was his hero and his mum didn't drink herself to near-enough death everyday.

Sure there had been good moments but the bad heavily outweighed the good.

Having Annie to distract him was one of the only things that had got him through the past eleven years.

His phone then pinged with a text.

The park? Annie can play while we chat.

Why exactly did his dad want to see Annie? It's not like Annie was his or even had anything to do with him.

Why do you want to see Annie?

Because she's your sister and despite you thinking otherwise i do know you. Your left eye twitches when you are anxious. And i know you hate leaving her. You did even then.

I don't do that. Not anymore. But you're right. I can't trust mum with her. I'll meet you at the park at 11.

11am quickly rolled around and before Ollie knew it, he and Annie were waiting for Mick at the park.

"Ol!" Mick smiled as he spotted Ollie sitting on top of one of the benches, Annie beside him.

"Don't call me that. Only my friends get to call me that." Ollie said firmly.

"Can I go on the swings please?" Annie asked as Ollie nodded.

"Sure but don't run off okay?" Ollie ordered as he watched Annie run towards the swings.

"How's your mum?" Mick asked, after a few minutes of silence.

"Normal. Well... As normal as you can be when you are dependent on alcohol." Ollie rebutted.

"Is that bad?" Mick asked.

"Worse. At her worst I haven't seen her for three, four weeks at a time. I have no idea where she goes or where she ends up either." Ollie explained, sighing.

"She's just so...Broken. Johnny came to stay for a while several years ago and for a while she did okay. She started making progress and going to AA groups. Then when they declared you dead it sent her spiralling and she's been drinking daily since." Ollie finished explaining.

"Did no one try to help?" Mick asked, looking at Ollie sympathetically.

"Yeah we all tried. Grandma Elaine, George, his kids, Johnny, Nancy, Lee, Myself- We all tried. But no matter what we did it always ended up with her drinking." Ollie sighed as he started to get emotional.

"I never had one birthday that she didn't ruin." Ollie said as he wiped his tears away.

"Trust me, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I stopped doing that a long time ago. But what I would give to just have a 'normal' mum. One who read me bedtime stories and hot chocolate. Not one who got alcohol poisoning and was in hospital for a month." Ollie sighed.

"Alcohol poisoning?!" Mick exclaimed, his eyes wide.

"It happened a month after you..disappeared. I'd just put Annie to bed in her cot, and Linda came stumbling in, she was making no sense and she seemed really out of it. I tucked her in on the sofa with a blanket and went to bed thinking nothing of it. Annie woke up in the middle of the night so I took her with me to make her bottle and I found Linda-sorry mum convulsing on the floor. I was terrified. I remember screaming for help. But it was just us there. So I put Annie back in her cot and then ran across the square to Stacey's. She called 999 and made sure mum got the help she needed. If it wasn't for her then I genuinely don't think mum would be here today." Ollie explained thoroughly.

"Shit.." Mick said quietly.

"So it's not that I hate you. I don't. I just hate what you left behind. What came after you disappeared. We were all so broken and loosing you just increased that tenfold. But you're my dad. I love you. But I've also got so much trauma that could've been avoided. If you'd just come home sooner then we could've been together and dealt with things as a family. Instead, it's been me raising Annie and the odd family members popping in every once in a while. Aside from Auntie Carly, I have no one." Ollie said as he spilled all.

"I'm so sorry." Mick apologised.

"Thank you." Ollie half-smiled.

"OLLIE?!" He hears a voice call.

"Shit mum...." Ollie said as his eyes widened in shock.