Hot and Heavy

Fionas POV

11.02 AM
I overslept again. I love sleeping but also hate that I sleep so damn much. I could sleep for 12-13 hours straight if I wouldn't be wasting all day. 

 I got out of bed to take a shower and wake up.  I washed my face, brushed my teeth then glanced at the razor. Contemplating if it's slutty of me to even think of shaving down there. Decided im too tired for it and it would be for nothing anyway so i just got out.  Had a light breakfast then chilled on the balcony a little, still in my robe.

"Should I send him a good morning text Perry ?" I asked my cat that had joined me.

"You're right by now he must have woken up already and he didn't text me. So neither should i probs... Right?"

He meowed at me and i took it as confirmation. No goodmorning texts .

Just as i was finishing my cigarette my phone dinged. My heart skipped a beat thinking it could be from will.

It was a notification from twitter. He started following me on it.

Which should be considered normal. A new friend following the other's account on social media. But this new friend had 3M followers... so it made me somewhat concerned. I know how fangirls are, they stalk their fangirlee religiously and know of every single interaction they make on any social media platform. This ultimately means my accounts are about be exposed to pretty high traffic. 

I shut the balcony door behind my back making sure Perry was inside with me. In a couple hours Will is supposed to pick me up for a picnic date. Its bold of me to call it a "date" since we just met but I get all the right flirty signs from him to know I must not be delusional. The feelling is probably mutual.

I decided to spend my time slowly getting reddy. It feels like ritual. A time I can take for myself. Utter peace and quiet. From the outside it's just me slowly brushing my wet hair and putting oil in it. Or very gently rubbing lotion in every corner of my legs. But it is essentially the way I keep my mental state in order. An escape from worries.

Taking care of oneself is probably the hardest but most awarding act. This routine is easy and at times the only thing that gets me back on my feet.

This feels and sounds like Im exaggerating but it truly is my ticket back to life. Sometimes I feel as if simply existing is too tiring. I don't want to get up and do anything, I don't want to sleep. I just want to be in a state of nothingness. I am aware that when I explain it like this, it sounds like I have a bad case of depression or something else. I never made it far enough in therapy to find out what it actually is.

As Im sat in front of my mini fan on my bed, gently brushing my hair and massaging keratin oil into it, I can't help but imagine how today will go on.

In relationships I always know exactly how to act, what to say or what will get me in my preferred state with my specific person. This is sometimes a curse rather than a handy talent. As time goes on I feel as if relationships, pursuing someone is simply just a plan. A game where I have to be strategic. A longcon even.

My last relationship damaged me badly because of this. I let myself forget about the longcon, I let go. In the end everything felt too chaotic because I wasn't planning how our conversations would go, how he would say what I want him to say If I did this and that. I let all of that go and it hurt me beyond anything I can remember.

I didn't plan on meeting Will of course. Thats definitely beyond my powers. But I learned from my mistake. And anything I can control, I will.

Water droplets  falling from my hair forming dots on my sheets. I think about the underwear I left in his pocket. If he miraculously hadn't thought about anything spicy with me yet, after that there was no doubt he did. 

Ding

-Hey fiona

- I gotta run some errands, is it cool if me meet at 4.30 instead of 4 pm

+ sure no problem by me

+ I cleared my schedule today anyways 

- ı feel like a jerk now

+ don't be silly you're practically famous I understand not being able to postpone some things

-famous is overdoing it but thanks

-see you later don't forget to send me your address 

+sure thing

+ syl

Play the cool and chill girl that isn't bothered by last minute change.Check. 

 Sneak in a little something so you don't come off as too unbothered. Check.

I hop on my couch. What is the best way to kill time ? Masturbating probably. But I'll go with watching netflix this time. Dexter is good enough.

Will is definitely my type. He checks off all the important boxes. Tall, like tall to the point where you feel like a gnome next to him, Wavy longish hair, perfect to play with, and a lean build. Also 9 times out of 10 tall guys are gifted in certain... places. I don't know the science behind it thats just how it is.

Maybe I should have shaved afterall. Too bad. I'll just work my way around a different gameplan.

14.48 PM

I need to wear a skirt. I get dressed and start doing my makeup in front of my camera. Being ready early can't hurt, I got nothing else going on afterall. 

A GRWM for my YouTube account. That will come in handy later.

I text my address to Will and sit back on my couch. At about 16.17 he calls me.

+ Yea Im ready

+ Should I bring anything  from the house ?

+ Okay I'll be down in five

I remind myself that this "date" will be more like me seeing if  he has more than the surface boxes he checks. Seeing if he's worth it to risk getting hurt again.

 I pick a bottle of wine and a blanket to put underneath us in my bag, hope he doesn't mind drinking it from market bought paper cups.

"Wish me luck perry, be good"

Deep breath in and apartment door open. 

There he is.